I spent the night before in tears … overwhelmed and feeling alone! I prayed to God to please help me, give me the optimism and faith I knew I was really capable of. Then the next day I reluctantly came out of seclusion to take care of some tasks. I was feeling a little better. I had received an email of encouragement from someone who was touched by my blogs. While I drove around I talked to God (like I always used to do.) Then on this day that well represented ( rainy & gray ) how I felt inside. I saw these red flowers laying in the middle of the road. How random! How strange! How metaphoric to how I felt!!
Words can't explain what it is like to be back after the amazing year I had. So I wont even try and bring you down in the process. I'll just say I have never in my life felt so out of place and unsure about everything! I'll let my picture above do the talking. I am confident though that God has a plan (even though I don't) and that he will stay true to His promise "not to let me down" (see MY WORLD RACE ACCEPTANCE blog)
So I immediately apon seeing these flowers in the road was lifted back up. I knew God was speaking to me, in the special way He always does! Here was a beautiful bouquet of flowers just laying on the street and getting rained on. Cars were driving right by. I felt that I had so much inside me that just wanted to burst out. So much beauty that I gained from my journey. However I felt alone, unoticed, and in the middle of a path unable to move or know where to go, if I could.
God understood what I was feeling. He was validating my emotions and assuring me saying " I am here!" Just down the street from the flowers was my grandparents house (where I am currently living.) I started to put the code in, for the community gate to open. Then I felt compelled to go back and take a picture of the flowers. I thought " I am so CRAZY! Its storming and traffic is heavy." The farther I drove into the neighborhood the more my heart sank. God gave me this beautiful message and I needed to capture and remember this. "Okay God enough with the guilt trip … I'll go back and take a picture of it … even though Im going to look like a crazy woman!" So I turned my car around and started to drive back out of the development.
Then I saw this … (It also made the 6:00 news this night)
I still went back and took the flower picture you see at the top of this blog. Amazingly the heavy traffic ( 5 lanes during rush hour) cleared and I was able to stop my car and lean out and take the picture. I also rescued the flowers out of the street and brought them home! Just like I know God will do for me!
EVERY TIME THIS SONG PLAYS I CRY … LOVE IT …
