Becoming Invisible- Pt 1
Last Thursday I sat on the balcony and just sat in the presence of God.
One thing I ask God almost every day is-
One thing I ask God almost every day is-
“God, please romance me. Please explain your love. Please show up today.”
At that moment God put it on my heart to discuss this issue with the group on Tuesday night. How could I discuss this with the group? I knew nothing on the issue. I was still desperately seeking the answers myself!
I put the idea in the back of my head and forgot about it. I tried to make other plans for Tuesday night and they fell through. Monday it was put on my heart again to speak, but I couldn’t. I was not qualified to speak to the group on this issue. I would embarrass myself!
Again, I forgot about it and moved on. Long story short-Tuesday I had about 5 confirmations that I was supposed to speak.
I asked my friend Liz to pray for me. We prayed and it was very clear that this was something I had to do. I had to GET OVER MYSELF!
I had a vision of 3 girls on M squad (whom I don’t know) experiencing freedom and crying with Joy. Who was I to not be used by God because I was “scared.” I could dance in front of a huge crowd with no problem, but when it came to sharing God I suddenly got cold feet.
I spent the afternoon praying while organizing the evening. I kept begging God “Please! Tell me what I am supposed to say! Tell me what scriptures to read! Give me some kind of plan!!”
In my head this spirit of rejection just kept popping into my head.
“Jessi, no one will receive anything you have to say. Jessi, you were
not chosen. Jessi, you are not worthy. Jessi, you don’t know what you
are talking about.”
I started to freak out…I couldn’t do this! Jessica and I went into
the sanctuary and decided to just play worship music and pray.
STILL…NOTHING!
“Jessi, no one will receive anything you have to say. Jessi, you were
not chosen. Jessi, you are not worthy. Jessi, you don’t know what you
are talking about.”
I started to freak out…I couldn’t do this! Jessica and I went into
the sanctuary and decided to just play worship music and pray.
STILL…NOTHING!
Then I felt God saying to me..
“Jessi…stop planning. Let Go of
Control. You can not be rejected if you become invisible. Allow the
night to turn out however it may. I will give you the words to say. Act
on faith.”
Control. You can not be rejected if you become invisible. Allow the
night to turn out however it may. I will give you the words to say. Act
on faith.”
During worship I kept praying for the words, for the images. A bunch of
my close friends prayed over me, and spoke TRUTH into my life. I was
worthy to be the mouthpiece of the Lord. I was chosen to do After prayer, I slowly stepped onto the stage. I said a quick prayer in my head, “God, pleaseeee show up!” I decided to begin the sermon in prayer…and this is what God used me to say:
my close friends prayed over me, and spoke TRUTH into my life. I was
worthy to be the mouthpiece of the Lord. I was chosen to do After prayer, I slowly stepped onto the stage. I said a quick prayer in my head, “God, pleaseeee show up!” I decided to begin the sermon in prayer…and this is what God used me to say:
SEE PART 2 TOMORROW
