work at the Sir Toby’s pub. Nothing out of the ordinary- just
conversation & a continuous pouring of beer.
Then they walked in.
A pack of men, typical in their arrogant strut & overly confident
conversation starters, yet unique in their outfits- pilot jumpsuits &
aviator sunglasses straight from Tom Cruise in the movie Top Gun. I
presume their absurd appearance was meant for some type of costume
party; however, I never had enough care to ask. As they approached
the bar, I mentally prepared myself for what was to ensue. Right from
the start, I knew they were going to be trouble.
Before they could open their
mouths to speak, I could tell I would be better off if they never
did. Unfortunately, I was right. As they ordered their drinks, the
joking & derogatory comments aimed at me began to flow freely. Be
nice & smile Jesse, I thought as I tried to convince myself
it was a good idea to even acknowledge their misogynistic comments.
Nevertheless, conversation began & I was able to share about my
trip. I explained the premise of the Race & proceeded to list all
the countries we had visited. When the list led me to Thailand, their
eyes perked up & their attention was instantly commanded.
Thailand?!”
certainly did.”
isn’t it incredible?”
absolutely incredible.”
the Red Light Districts?”
hesitantly reply -cringing at the direction I anticipate the
conversation going.
The man was almost yelling he was so excited.
began to boil. “No it was not awesome- it was terrible.”
exclaimed. ” How is that possible? Those girls are so hot.”
It took every ounce of
strength in my body to restrain myself. I searched for words to
adequately retort but all I could mange to push through my gritted
teeth was, “It was terrible because those women are people, real
live human beings. And I did not go to Thailand to enjoy the Red
Light District. I went to love the women who are exploited by sick
men like you.”
My cheeks burned. I could
barely breathe I was so angry. Keen to the fact I was angry, the men
began to offer half-hearted & patronizing apologies. We exchanged
a few more words & they went about their way. But I was left
stunned, stewing, & shaking in an utter rage. I hated them. I
couldn’t believe that people like that actually existed. They went to
the Red Light District & bragged about it to a GIRL!!
Did they somehow think that I would find that impressive???? It was
absolutely beyond me.
The minutes passed & I
felt a full on war rage inside of me. I wanted to yell at them, hit
them, make them feel terrible for their pathetic existence. But there
was another voice in me that I knew I had to love them. Thats what I
am called to do right- to love to unlovable. But how could I?
squeaked out a meager smile; which I’m sure was not too convincing.
Love is harder than I thought.
A few
days later, I was still processing through the events of that night.
I just could not get over the disturbing encounter. It made me mad.
It made me sick. Then while praying about my anger, I became suddenly
overwhelmed with this notion of God’s love. I felt Him say, ” Jess,
these men are my children too & I love them. I know it doesn’t
make sense; but, I love them with all my heart. I love them
just the same as I love you.” As these words sank in, I
began to sob uncontrollably. I could barely breathe as I tried to
comprehend the power, the sheer magnificence of God’s love. It’s
unfathomable.
I don’t
know that I have ever felt His love so strongly. As I sat on the
sofa, just feet away from the bar where my encounter occurred, my
tears subsided, a faint smile crept across my face, & my heart
filled with an awe inspired reverence.
God is good. He teaches me lessons in the most ironic of ways. And He
loves me. I can be sure of that.
