Other than a few prayers, everyone remained settled deep into their own thoughts. Scanning the faces of my teammates, I could feel the anxiety, the weight of the imminent future.
On the outside, I played along. I sat with my lips pursed & maybe even let out a nervous sigh or leg twitch every once & a while. But, on the inside, my thoughts raced…
“What is wrong with everyone? Why are they all so anxious? This is prostitution, not the end of the world. It happens all the time. It happens in our American cities, why would it be any more significant in Thailand?”
So there I sat, unaware & unassuming; reveling in my ignorant bliss, while silently scoffing at my teammates for being “too emotional”.
It was 10:57pm. The taxi sputtered to a halt in front of the three story megaplex of neon & light. We had arrived- Nana Plaza- “Bangkok’s primer nightlife attraction.”
At first glance, I made a rash assessment. “Well this place doesn’t seem that bad. Ha! Everyone got themself all worked up for no reason.”
Then it happened. The taxi door opened & like a movie in slow motion, the reality of it all consumed me. I stepped onto the street & into an alternate universe. My heart began to race; I felt my face reddening with rage, & my stomach churn in disgust.
Walking into the plaza, my eyes moved frantically to take it all in- masses of nearly naked women propositioning themselves to the equal abundance of eager Caucasian males, lights seizing with filthy promises, music screaming for attention, & cups overflowing with toxic concoctions. The liquid powerful enough to paralyze the conscience of sex crazed men & numb the spirit of defenseless women.
“This is unreal.” My mind began to function again. “This is absolutely unreal. It does not exist. I cannot believe a place like this actually exists.”
It was in that moment, at the point where the most UNREAL thing I’d ever seen became the most REAL thing I’ve ever seen, that I saw humanity through God’s eyes. Here in front of me was sin in its fullest form-lust, selfishness, greed, adultery, pride, hate, defilement, debauchery, idolatry, self-deprecation-its overwhelming presence was too much to bear. I was enraged at the injustice & tormented by the hopelessness.
But then, all of a sudden, I felt love.
My nausea subsided & my fists finally unclenched. I scanned the crowds & in each face, I saw beauty. The corners that moments before appeared plagued by darkness, now shone a radiant light.
My heart pounded as I processed through the parallel. The Lord loves in spite of us. We are a wretched people created in the image of perfection, but living lives so far from glory that it’s hard to imagine it once existed. But Christ looks into sin, looks at our mistakes, sees our short comings & loves. We betray Him, we disregard Him & yet, He remains. We are a people who deserve nothing, but through Jesus, receive everything. That, to me, is unreal.
