This is a story that happened at Training Camp, I have really debated writing this blog sense I have been home because it is so personal to my heart but I think its time I shared with you all the amazingly crazy ways God completely shattered my world at Training Camp so here it is….
We had been in sessions all day learning about the Holy Spirit, that night we went into a squad meeting and they asked us to do an excersice. They said, “so many times we pray to God doing all of the talking but not doing any listening, tonight lets all try asking the Holy Spirit to speak into our hearts”, now I don’t know about you guys but this was something I had never done before. The entire room was quiet, Im talking like hear a pin drop quiet, some went outside, some where laying down with their eyes closed and some were reading their bibles, every one looked like they knew what they were doing. I sat there thinking to myself, I have no idea what to do so I laid down, sat my head on the ground closed my eyes and half heartly prayed to God asking for something, anything!
Be careful what you wish for!
Now rewind for a second, the very first night I had a dream about a little girl running into the arms of a man, he picked her up and twirled her around laughing and giggling, I didn’t think much of it. Then the same night we were doing the listening excersise we also learned about feedback, a squatmate gave my great feedback saying I need to have more grace for people. (she said it much nicer then that)
Ok now I have my eyes closed, and I have the same vision of the little girl running into the mans arms but this time I am the little girl, then we walk over to this riverbank, Jesus has his arm resting over my shoulder and we are looking at the river, and all of a sudden people are in this river. Friends, family, co-workers, strangers, people from childhood and highschool, Jesus looks at me and says “Jesse these are all the people I want you to shower with grace, forgiveness, and love just like I have done for you.”
WOW!!
By now the quiet time had finished and our leader asked people to share, now if you know me I am the LAST person to raise my hand and I didnt, God did it for me. I very shyly explained what I had seen, the group discussed it and then we were given another excersise. Half the team was on one side of the room the other on the opposite side, one side was to close their eyes, the half that had their eyes open were suppose to stand infront of a person with their eyes closed.
Following me so far?
The person with their eyes closed was suppose to ask the Holy Spirit for something to pray over the person infront of them, now remember the person had their eyes closed and doesnt know who is infront of them. I thought to myself there is no way this is going to work but I tried, each time we did this some sort of message came to me and we would pray together over it, after we prayed we would open our eyes and see if our message matched, every person I prayed with said the message that the Holy Spirit gave me was spot on to their live.
WOW!!
After the praying we were released for the night and I bee-lined it for my tent and journal, I had to process this because I was freaking out! I filled page after page telling this story and asking God for clarity. That same night I found Amanda my squad leader, I burst into tears and she listened to me blabber on, she just gave me a hug and said “Jesse, God has given you an amazing gift, process it and embrass it. This is an amazing gift that can lead you to so much healing.”
Im almost done with this story I promise, hang on a little longer!
The next day during God-time I just journaled, again filling page after page, forgive all of these people in my life, some I didnt even realise I had hurt feeling toward. I forgive this person for making me feel this way, I forgive this person for saying that mean thing, it went on and on. After God-time was breakfast, one of my squad mate grabbed me and asked why I was so happy. I hadnt realise but I was walking around with the biggest goofiest smile on my face! I was so free, I felt a million times lighter, I was truely happy!
Friends, the staff and past racers told me at Training Camp my chains would be broken and I would be healed, healed of wounds I didnt even know I had and man were they right!
I was broken and put back together in Gods image at Training Camp and I couldnt be happier!
Thanks so much for reading this ridiculously long blog, I hope you enjoyed it! Side note by Gods grace I am 88% funded!! Thank you all so much, still interested in donated click the SUPPORT ME TAB ON THE LEFT. Thank you all so so much!!
Jesse
