A few months ago while I was reading about forgiveness in “Healing for Damaged Emotions” I took a short test called “Reminder and Reaction” test, which told me I have anger and resentment towards Christians.
I couldn’t really argue.
I don’t like a lot of Western Christian culture. I especially don’t like Christians who carry a façade of perfection and superiority, and have the need to judge others who don’t meet their standards.
My Rant…..Perfectionism is not what Christianity is about. Christianity is about being like Jesus, and Jesus is about unconditional love. The process of growing in Christ-likeness isn’t even about us–it’s about glorifying God. But somehow we as Christians feel the need to appear perfect so that we can feel good about ourselves….and not only is this completely contrary to the gospel, it also isn’t about glorifying God, it’s about glorifying ourselves.
Then I realized the reason all of this makes me so angry….I am a lot like those Christians I don’t like.
Performance-Based Spirituality
I seek to be perfect, I try to earn my grace and clear my debts by being as perfect as possible. I seek to attain my love, joy, and peace from relationships, status, and security instead of God….AND THEN I expect the same level of perfection from others.
This type of Christianity is not fulfilling; it can’t be. In manipulating my actions to appear perfect and please others, I’ve exhausted myself.
As I continue to seek perfection, I end up being filled with anxiety and fear of failing. Sometimes, I succeed and revel in my own awesomeness. But inevitably, I do fail and fall short of my idea perfection. Then, I am filled with guilt and shame…. and the cycle of performance starts over again.
So what’s a better way?
The struggle to forgive or offer grace to others indicates a struggle to truly accept grace for yourself.
Rather than seeking perfection, denying we ever do anything wrong, or blaming others for our shortcomings (all things I am personally very good at)- We ought to practice accepting our faults and forgive ourselves for our imperfection. And ultimately, admit that we’re not actually self-sufficient.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
It's simple, but not. Because it is really hard and takes time to rewire our thinking and response. The results are incredible though, because true fellowship with others and loving out of wholeness only comes after we accept forgiveness for ourselves and our shortcommings.
Check out Part 2 later this week if you want to:
- Learn more about the Reminder and Reaction
- Identify any triggers you have that may indicate any areas of unforgiveness
- Gain insight into things you don’t really like about yourself.
