As a new blog writer, I try to come up with something witty and meaningful for the title of each post (whether or not I’m successful has yet to be revealed to me). I'm three days from quitting my job as I write this, and feel like there is an ever increasing need to trust in God as I approach launch. So the common phrase “Jesus take the wheel!” came to mind, however cliché it may be. As I thought about whether or not to use this as my next blog post title, I started to examine the phrase a little more closely. Why do we say it (if you say it at all)? During an actual car accident, we might say it because we've lost all control. We’ve exhausted all available resources to get ourselves out of the current situation. We've no other option but to trust in the Lord. Let’s not stop there, however, and continue to dig deeper. Is “Jesus take the wheel!” a cop out? Do we only save it for the moments when we feel absolutely powerless? On the other hand, do we really feel like we are in control of our own lives and don’t need Jesus’ help until we feel like our way of life is threatened? Don’t get me wrong, we have free will and God allows us to make our own decisions. Maybe control is a strong word. How about trust? Maybe fear? God’s a big dude. And when we talk about Old Testament God, He’s frankly kind of scary sometimes. Even in my own experience, I suffer through life’s day to day stresses like a flat tire, expired milk in the fridge, accidently overdrawing my bank account, or forgetting to pay the phone bill and having my internet shutdown. I can handle those. I don’t want to inconvenience God with my dinky problems. Certainly He’s got bigger things to worry about, right?
I think a lot of people (Christians included) see God as this big, intimidating dude who watches us from a great distance. We are fearful of making Him angry or feeling His wrath when we mess up. Sure, that might be the image of Old Testament God, but that all changed with Jesus dying on the Cross. We must realize and remind ourselves daily that God is a god of love and He is pursuing us! Think about it. If God was so angry and vengeful of humans for how sinful we were and how bad we screwed up, why did He send his son Jesus to die for us? Jesus took all the sin of the world folks. When we were still sinners, God loved us enough to sacrifice his Son so that we would be reconciled to the way that God originally intended us to be. When we mess up, His doesn’t get pissed. He is always pursuing us, and when we sin and mess things up, it changes our fellowship, or communication, with God, but the relationship never changes. God created that relationship, and there is nothing you can do to destroy that relationship. You are his kid.
So why do we not entrust God with every moment of our lives? When are we going to realize that God has a vested interest in the most intimate and minute details of our lives? When are we going to let go of every little thing, let go of the shame and guilt that keeps us from being totally open with God? The moment you realize the Cross is a finished work. You’ve hurt or been hurt. Your addictions. Your loss and pain. Everyone’s got it. Jesus paid it all. So you’re ashamed, God wants your shame. So you’re guilty, God wants your guilt. So you hurt, God wants your pain. God knows every detail of our lives, but just like how we can’t assume the people around us are okay or that we pretend to be okay ourselves, we must surrender our pain and loss to God so that it can be fully revealed and have those hurts mended in the light of his love.
On Wednesday, I will walk away from work for the last time before launch. Income will cease and I will no longer be able to put sizeable amounts of money towards my trip. I will become even more dependent on God and the friends and family around me to make the rest of the finances up to become fully funded for this trip. I will move the remainder of my belongings into a storage unit and live from an increasingly smaller pool of resources. I will begin the last transition towards living out of a 70L backpack for a year and living off of less than $200 a month. Talk about trust, right? We’re talking about me, a single guy whose lived a life of plenty, able to afford most anything I want, and all of a sudden deciding to walk away from it all, all the stuff, and walk towards Jesus. I’m leaving behind nice vehicles, a sweet paying job, nice apartment, and in general, just lots of stuff. Who does that? That’s the American dream, after all! Get as much cool stuff as possible to show that we are successful and doing okay. But I no longer want the American dream. I want God’s dream for my life.
So, Jesus, take the wheel, not because I feel like I’m about to crash, but because I want you to be right here with me to help me all long this drive called life, not just in the hard times, but for every sunrise moment too. Elbow me in the ribs when I start falling asleep, change the radio station when the same songs start playing again, call AAA when I am stranded with a flat, pull me from the wreckage when life comes crashing down. Every moment, every detail, every issue, every praise, every laugh are Yours, Lord.
