Written: 2/15/14
We've been in Malawi for two weeks now and at our ministry site Zehandi Missions in Senga Bay for nine days. It's been a challenging week and a great time for God to stretch me as an individual, as well as, an opportunity to grow as a squad (February is our all-squad month). In Zambia, God had to show up big time in my life as the Father Figure that He is to encourage me. When I landed in Africa, I struggled through culture shock and finally and truly being gone from home. Sadly, I had to repeat that process here in Senga Bay.
Freak out began as soon as our bus, fully loaded with people and backpacks, got stuck in the sand and died 1/4 mile before we got to base. We are most certainly in the bush here, but Zehandi Missions sits atop a hill that overlooks Lake Malawi, and the views are breathtaking. Despite the beautiful scenery, I had a hard time adapting to life here, especially when I contrasted it to how life was in Zambia. Cleanliness is different here. I have been used to daily showers and feeling relatively "clean" all the time. Not here. I've showered twice since we got here. My legs and feet look disgusting and whenever I scratch a bug bite, my finger nails turn black from the thin layer of nastiness covering me. We are tenting all month, which is mostly nice. You at least have your privacy at night, but tents get incredibly hot here during the day when the sun is shining. We have no running water. We have to walk about 3/4 of a mile to get to a well and pump our own water. The well is usually surrounded with people getting water, so you have to get in line. We have physical labor work to do at least 4-5 hours a day, sometimes up to 8-9 hours a day, depending on how the day works out. No electricity or internet here, either. We are completely cut off from the outside world. I freaked out day one. Compared to life in the USA, even Zambia was "rough", but here in Senga Bay, we are essentially camping for almost 3 weeks straight. Fun!
I don't know why I had this freak out moment. I've camped before. I've "roughed it". Shoot, we have "sit down" or western toilets here, now that's luxury. God has had to, again, break me down and convince me to let go of this comfort that I so tightly cling to. The different between joy and happiness is that joy is a choice, and you can choose to either have it, or not to have it. Unfortunately, I initially let my circumstances determine my joy.
God immediately went into recovery mode and began working on my heart the very next day after our arrival. Thankfully, I didn't stew in my discomfort for long, but the lesson was still learned. God continued to remind me "You can do it, Son. You can do it." It was hard at first, for sure. My 180 degree turn from discomfort to choosing joy occurred with a couple of 90 degree turns. The first came when we made our first trip to the beach. The view was absolutely amazing. The waves crashing, the sound, being surrounded by mountains and seeing Mozambique on the other side of the lake. I stepped to the edge of the water and I remember thinking over and over "Where can I flee from your presence, God?" In that moment, I realized God was there on the beach with me, looking out over the lake. He was reaching out to me, urging me to loose all my concern and comforts and just choose Him.
The second turn came a day or two later when I got my first opportunity to preach in an African church. The opportunity came and I felt lead. I had nothing prepared, no outline, no bullet points, nothing… but I felt strangely prepared and ready for this. I simply felt like I needed to preach on what God was doing in my life. So that's what I did. I preached on Psalm 139. It has been my favorite chapter in the Bible for about a year now, because it spoke so much identity into my life (verses 13-14, etc), but the now the chapter took on a whole new meaning. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? Where can I possibly get away from you, Lord? You are everywhere! (verse 7). To add, it's not just that God is omnipresent, I know that already. The deeper meaning that I felt was that God is everywhere I go, and everywhere I go He is there with a desperate desire for me to choose Him. He wants me to invite Him into every moment of my life, not that I have to do a certain thing or say something specific… but to simply hang out with the God of the ages.
When you realize this, God changes… or rather our perspective of Him changes. All of a sudden, God isn't this distant, angry, bearded guy floating around on a cloud. It is moments like these that you realize that God is intimate. He is right there with you like a loving Father, ready to pick you up and encourage you the moment you fall. It's not about your ministry, who you talk to, who you "save", how well you preach, or even your comfort level. When you are uncomfortable in a situation, it is usually God trying to break you down and strip you of something that is holding you back from Him. Choose discomfort. Choose joy. God's number one priority, each and every moment of every day, is you and your relationship with Him.
Psalm 139:1-10 – You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful to me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
