This month my team and I looked into the life of Solomon, through the book of Ecclesiastes. As Solomon took his place as king he asked God for wisdom. We found Solomon to have denied himself nothing from life. Riches, pleasures, you name it, Solomon most likely had it or tried it.
Although, I don’t claim to have all the wisdom Solomon had, I can relate to some of what he talks about, for example:
“And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another.” Ecc. 4:4
I realized that from a young age I was striving to be noticed in life. Making good grades, never missing a day of school, to achieving perfect attendance, trying out for the basketball team and track team. For a summer musical, I would work hard all summer practicing costume changes, putting on make-up so I could put on a prefect performance. Although, the audience clapped and the crowd cheered there was always something missing.
Lord, I’ve been told to be ashamed
Lord, I’ve been told I don’t measure up
Lord, I’ve been told I’m not good enough
But you’re here with me
Wearing make-up to cover up my face and putting on a costume to act as anyone else would allow me to feel accepted or at the very least noticed. I was only worried about pleasing others around me and I started to lose my true identity.
I became very lost and confused. It was at this time that I became very selfish and realized the world was not giving me what I so desperately needed. Everything I would run after was like chasing the wind.
Exhausting and meaningless.
I reach out and you find me in the dust
You say no amount of untruths can separate us
I reach out and you find me in the dust
You say no amount of untruths can separate us
I reach out and you find me in the dust
You say no amount of untruths can separate us
(Simple Gospel-United Pursuit)
Then something happened, I met a man.
And he has been with me through all my attempts for attention. He followed me to every basketball game, every track and field meet and cheered for me in every musical performance. He watched me put on each and every costume. Even when I put on the ugliest of masks and played the dirtiest parts, he was there.
Until one day he took me by the hands and led me to the clearest of mirrors. As he placed me in front of this mirror, I couldn’t bare to look at myself. I immediately knelt down and began to weep. Ashamed not only of how I looked but also for the many different parts that I had played. Lost and confused about who I really was the tears came, the ugly tears. I was dirty. My costume was torn, and the make-up running down my face. I couldn’t bare to have this wonderful man even look at me, for I could not even face myself.
But, he was such a gentleman. He reached for my hands, and through my tear filled eyes I looked up at this mans face and was blinded by his smile. With my hands in his, he lifted me up, and spun me around and around. All I could see was his sweet face, looking at me with eyes of this kind of love I have never experienced. As we stopped, almost immediately, he began to take his shirt off and tied to place it over me. But knowing the mess I was, I pulled away. Never letting go of my hands, he pulled me in close whispering the words, “Trust Me.” Knowing that he has seen me in my mess, I allowed him to place his shirt over me. Then from out of his pocket he pulled a rag and began to wipe away all the layers of make-up and tears. As he did this he had the kindest look in his eyes, I couldn’t help but smile back at him. As I did, he spun me around and around.
All those days watching from the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I’ve been
Now I’m here blinking in the starlight
Now I’m here suddenly I see
Standing here it’s all so clear
I’m where I’m meant to be
(I see the Light-Tangle Soundtrack)
He led me to garden, as we walk around, he spoke ever so tenderly to me. Telling me things about myself that I had never heard before, yet had been longing to hear. Every word somehow pierced my flesh. Saturated in healing words, my heart became transformed. He spoke of my beauty as white lilies sitting in a valley with the backdrop of the brightest green mountains. My kind heart was more precious to him then any fine gem that had ever been discovered. Reaching down, he held out a bunch of vibrant purple flowers, it was breathtaking.
The longer we walked hand in hand, the darkness that once followed me began to disappear. I became so comfortable with this man, and his words of joy, peace and love. We made our way back to the entrance of the garden, before we left, once again he led me in front of the mirror. Holding his hand, I stepped up to the mirror and looked at myself. This time, I was clothed in a gorgeous dress, my skin sparkled, and I could see the reflection of the one that has loved me from the very beginning. The reflection of Father God himself. This man had restored me to my original design. I turned to this man looking in his eyes I ask, “Who are you?” his reply, “I am your Beloved.”
And at last I see the light
And it’s the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it’s like the sky is new
And it’s warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you
(I See the Light- Tangled Soundtrack)
Everything I had done, up until meeting my Beloved, has been meaningless, chasing after the wind. I know that my identity lies in the eyes of my Beloved, who has restored me in my Father’s image. Like Solomon, I too have found that I must, “Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.” Ecclesiastes 12:13
Because of Solomon, and because my Beloved has taken all my sins upon himself. I am called to live a life of meaning and I am free to walk in my full worth, because I am daughter a King.
