I wanted to do a quick recap from my month in El Salvador…
During last month, there didn’t seem to be much to share, but reflecting back, I see God’s faithfulness to continue to teach me as we journey together, no matter what my circumstances look like.
If you haven’t noticed by now, I view this race as a training ground. I care about the ministries that I will be involved in each month, but I am desperately seeking God’s refining of my own heart in the midst of my ministry.
So, last month my team was joined by 2 other teams for our ministry in El Salvador. We stayed with an amazing contact that spoke almost no English (although he would randomly laugh when he would listen to us talk, so I know he understood more than he let on).
We thought each team would have their own separate ministry for the month at a prison, nursing home, with the homeless, or doing sports ministry. But we quickly learned that we would all be staying and doing ministry together and that flexibility would be the theme of the month. After a few days of unorganized ministry, I sought the Lord for what He wanted to teach me during this season.
As many former racers have shared, it is possible to come back from this intense year on the Race, and be relatively the same…and the main cause is laziness and a lack of intentionality to pursue God. On the Race, I have been given a different training ground that has fewer distractions and comforts to numb me, but I’m still the same. I brought myself and all my habits and coping mechanisms with me. So if I don’t choose to enter this training ground and fight for more ground to be surrendered to Christ, then this year could pass me by with very little heart change.
All that to say, I desire to always ask God where He is wanting to work in my life…because I’ve discovered that if I try to refine myself then I either get overwhelmed by all the ways I need to change and all the areas I need growth in or I become complacent, just hoping over time that I will magically grow. {Check out this blog by Matt Chandler}.
So…back to El Salvador. I started the month feeling aimless in my walk with God, not really knowing how He was working and not knowing how to join Him. But within two days, through prayer and sermons and books, He made it clear that the theme of the month was going to be FAITH and WORSHIP.
I began to PURPOSELY WORSHIP GOD BY FAITH. Not basing my worship on my present feelings or circumstances, but worshipping God for who I know Him to be. I worship by looking back and remembering His faithfulness and goodness in my life. I worship by calling out the truths I know, and not allowing the doubt that my emotions sometimes allow to creep in affect my worship of God.
So when we went to the hospital and prayed over babies and children to be healed and mothers to be comforted and hearts to be convinced of their need of a Savior, I prayed by faith, believing that although these women could not understand my words, MY PRAYERS HELD POWER. My prayers were effective in the spiritual realm and God’s heart was moved to work in that hospital. And when we entered the dark room in the corner with women who were losing their babies, either by choice or sickness, I prayed by faith, knowing that the Spirit could minister to these women where I was unable with any intelligible words. And when I prayed over a woman in the dark room with fresh blood still covering her sheet from her lost baby, all I could do was pray over her by faith believing that God could restore hope to this woman’s life. I had nothing else to give or offer in that moment, just faith expressed through prayer and love.
Days later, we entered the city dump, where barefooted kids peeked out of their houses surrounding the sides of the dump. Mountains of waste were covered with cows, vultures, kids, and old women and men, looking for things to collect and sell or food for their family’s table that night. My first prayer was that my stomach would hold and I wouldn’t vomit in this place as the stench threatened to overwhelm me. AND IN THE MIDST OF THE DEVASTATION OF THIS REALITY, I PRAYED BY FAITH. God gave me the prayer that a church would rise up in this place…not that I church would just come and minister, but that the people who populated the dump would become a church and would be pastors and ministers of the gospel. That true worship would happen in the dump.
Out of the lack of our ability to communicate very well in Spanish, God chose to glorify Himself instead of us all month long. And I continue to believe by faith that HIS SPIRIT WAS THE ONE THAT MINISTERED AS WE WERE FAITHFUL TO PRAY FOR AND LOVE THE PEOPLE HE BROUGHT ACROSS OUR PATH. I saw His work clearly whenever I would pray over people who didn't understand a word I spoke, but would break into tears as we prayed over them. So we continue to pray by faith in the Spirit's work, not our words.
We participated in the church’s ministry called Pan y Chocolate where we would take bread and hot chocolate to the streets and give it to the homeless living there and pray for the ones that would allow us. Once again, frustration came as we desired to communicate more effectively with the people, but with the lack of many translators, we again chose to pray over each person by faith, knowing that God heard and understood our prayers and would work and move as He desired.
On one night of street ministry, we were praying for the homeless sleeping outside of a hospital, when wails from a woman came from outside of the hospital. I immediately started praying for her from where I was standing. Soon there was a group of us watching and praying and praying and praying. I’m not sure what the others were praying for, but I was desperate for God’s Kingdom to come down in power and for His name to be glorified that night through His healing. We soon found out that the women’s child had been killed in an accident. Maybe this sounds crazy to you…but I started praying that God would raise her child from the dead. I just wanted to pray by faith and I knew if God desired, He would move in this miraculous way. It wouldn’t be any harder for Him to raise a child from the dead than to heal one from sickness. So I prayed for a miracle. And I imagined God’s heart breaking as this woman wept and screamed and cried out for her child. And I thought about how much His heart must desire to restore this broken world.
We were finally summoned by our contact and told it was time to leave. We reluctantly walked away with heavy hearts. We prayed together as a group and climbed into the truck for a silent ride back home. I immediately went outside to pray and question God’s purpose in the night and to seek where He was in the midst of the pain I witnessed. I didn’t wrestle long before His voice was clear. “YOU NEED TO WORSHIP ME RIGHT NOW.”
So I went to the back porch and surrounded in darkness, I stuck my headphones in my ears and worshipped and danced and praised Jesus. The words of the unselected songs poured out, speaking of His victory over death and His goodness and glory. I didn’t receive any answers that night, but my heart changed and overflowed as I worshipped Him. And I continued to see throughout the month how worshipping in the midst of pain or confusion or frustration or sorrow or happiness or misery…is an ACT OF FAITH.
So, those are my lessons from last month that God has begun and will continue to train me in. Sorry I wasn't better at keeping you updated throughout the month. There are many more nuggets of truth that God continues to speak over me and I'll share those soon…
A few highlights from this month:
1. Hiking to beautiful waterfalls
2. Walking to a nearby house in the afternoons to purchase freshly made popsicles for $0.30. So good! The coconut was the best!
3. Painting days that turned into lake days.
4. $5 ziplining for 5 different runs.
5. Beautiful beach sunrise the day before we left El Salvador.
