I miss my parents. A lot.
Homesickness had to set in eventually, it was bound to happen, and it happened this month, for several of us.
When I’m at home I don’t see my parents every day but I do talk to them almost every day. If I need advice I can just walk downstairs or call one of them, this month was not quite the same. I couldn’t just call my mom to vent for an hour about our situation, or crawl into their bed and lay my head in my mom’s lap when I wanted to cry (yes, I still do that and I probably will when I’m 60 years old).
The beginning of this month I wanted nothing more than to just go home and get a hug from my parents. But I couldn’t, instead I was in the middle of the jungle with limited communication and in desperate need of some parental comfort.
Before leaving for the race I was starting to delve into seeing God as my Father. I mean we’ve all heard that God is our Father and we are His children, and I thought that I understood this. But there was a limit to it, I mean come on, I can’t just hug God when I need a hug, right? So for me, He was this distant Father, someone who looked after me but wasn’t physically there to comfort me.
This month though has taught me how to just run to Him for comfort, for that hug when I need it and for the advice that I so desperately need. I began to see that He does look after me, but also that He is so present. I may not always be able to feel him physically, but I do feel my heart comforted and a peace come over me when I need it most. I started to see that God is my Dad, that He provides me with what I need when I need it the most.
“If you then who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11
At home He has provided me with wonderful parents who love me, comfort me, care for me and pray for me while I’m gone. He knew that this month I needed parents and He provided them. This month we were incredibly blessed by our contacts and our neighbors, they became surrogate parents. Pastor and his wife looked out for us, cared for us and just loved us. They made sure that we ate well and took care of ourselves in the heat. They even scolded us for not grooming ourselves properly (it was pretty funny). The family living next to the church also became a surrogate family to our team. Their children came over every day after school and their parents took care of us.
They all loved us in a way that none of us was expecting but in a way that truly blessed our hearts. I will never forget being brought momo (an absolutely delicious dumpling-like meal) at 9pm as a treat, special goodbye presents, the interest they all showed in hearing about our families at home and seeing pictures, the way that Brody and Ashley were doctored and looked after when they hurt themselves, sitting on Pastor and his wife’s bed under the mosquito net next to a fan watching Mulan with Josi because they wanted us to escape the heat while we waited for the wifi to come on, and dance parties with the family by candle light as they brought us goodbye treats.
I had a bad attitude at the beginning of this month, I didn’t trust that God had me where He wanted me, but most of all I didn’t believe that He was going to take care of me and keep me safe. But He has, and He has turned what I thought would be one of my worst months into a month that I will forever cherish. I know now that He is my Dad and He knows exactly what I need even before I myself know I need it, I needed surrogate parents this month and that’s exactly what He gave me!
-Jess
