At training camp, and I’m sure launch, AIM staff tells us to prepare for a year unlike anything we’ve ever experienced and anything we’ve ever expected. They tell us to drop our expectations, rightfully because nothing is ever as we expected. We walk in hoping, even expecting to change lives, lead people to Christ, and be Jesus everywhere. These things happen all the time on the race, but when we take a step back and look at our year, more often than not we realize the people most changed are ourselves. We walk through so much in the year and ultimately it helps us become who we are created to be. It’s hard, believe me when I say it’s no walk in the park, but it’s worth it. More times than not, I didn’t even recognize myself or the things I would do or say to people. It makes us think we’re crazy, and sometimes we are, but we’re able to walk through the craziness with people around who understand and walk with us, extending grace the whole way. All along, we’re learning. Learning things about God, ourselves, others, and the world. I’m walking away from this journey in 5 weeks having learned some lessons that I will carry with me the rest of my life. Here’s a few of my lessons from the year.
-God is faithful and even His whispered promises are powerful
“you’re going to finish the race” was one of the first promises God whispered to me on this journey. I remember hearing it, and not believing it fully. I was way behind in finances, and I honestly didn’t even want to be on the race at that time, so I knew deep down I must of heard Him wrong. Then I got an email asking how I was going to get my finances in and without thinking, I wrote “this is not the end for me, in fact, I know I will finish the whole race…God’s going to come through.” For the first time, I believed His promise and I knew it to be true. I’e had to hold tightly to this promise the whole year, and yes, there were times where I was’t 100% sure, but when I started to doubt, I repeated His promise to myself. Five and a half weeks left and I’m still here with 100% guarantee I will finish this thing. He’s faithful.
-Ask and you shall receive…even the little things
“Ask and it will be given to you” Matthew 7:7. It’s such a simple thing…ask, and you shall receive. I can say I finally understand this verse and I am a witness to the power it has. More times than not, we don’t receive because we don’t ask, because to us, the asking is the hardest part. Once we get over the fear and ask, there’s so much blessing in store. I have been blessed so much this year is big things, and small things just because I asked. I let go of the fear of being rejected and started walking in the truth that there’s only blessings in store for me.
-When you want to give up, keep going. There’s more good in store
Like I said earlier, this thing is hard. Living in community constantly is hard, traveling all the time is hard, seeing past yourself is hard and those are only a few things that makes this journey difficult at times. So many times this year I wanted to throw in the towel, I wanted to give up and quit the race, and there were a few times I got super close, but I could never fully do it. My alumni squad leader Kristen told me once how she wanted to give up on her race after her month 8. She didn’t, and month 9 proved to be on the best months for her on the race. If she had given up when she wanted to, she would of missed out on that month. I always went back to that story when I wanted to give up. I didn’t want to miss out on anything God had for me just because at the time things were hard. There was always a good month after a hard one, and this past month was one of my favorites, but if I’d given up early on, I would of never experienced it. I’ve learned there’s always more good if you just keep going, pushing past the hard and bad moments and being expectant for the good ones.
-Loving people helps you love the Father and yourself more
This month I decided to love my team beyond how I wanted to love them. I wanted to love them like Christ does and see past there flaws and notice their strengths more. It’s amazing what happens when you start to love people like Christ, like truly love them, even when you don’t want to. I learned so much about Christ, them, and myself. It helped me see them differently, and I saw why God loves them so much. When doing this, it made me a happier person. I was more joyful, open, caring, and more in tune with the Father. I loved myself more for loving them how I was supposed to. This month helped me understand why our two greatest commandments as Christians involve loving people. God’s love is made complete when we love others.
-Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it
Coming into the race I had a lot of people to forgive. I thought I had, but realized quickly in month one that I hadn’t actually forgiven them and instead just pushed it aside. I knew I had to fully forgive people to be able to experience all that God had for me this year, and to be able to walk in freedom. I pushed through when it was hard and forgave and honestly I felt so much better. Weights I didn’t even know where weighing me down and once I chose to forgive, I felt them lifted off of me. Along the race, I’ve also had to forgive people on my squad, friends of mine, but it became easier as time went on. Little things I would normally hold onto, I let go and proceed on in forgiveness. Over and over again I had to ask myself if little offenses really mattered, and when the bigger ones happened, I had to get over myself also and operate in grace and forgiveness. I have seen the power of forgiveness and I have been forgiven and the power that these things have is huge. I learned that forgiveness benefits me more than anyone else and in the end it’s not about building a relationship again, but about freedom and healing and operating in that.
So in 10 months I’ve learned a lot and yes, it’s been a lot at once, but I’m so thankful for it all. I won’t say that I wouldn’t have eventually learned these things hadn’t I come on the race, but it probably would have taken me years to walk through the things I was able to walk through this year. These lessons and this journey wouldn’t of been possible without the help of all the people who have supported me. I wouldn’t of been able to be stretched and tested and called out in the ways I was this year if I didn’t have people supporting me because they believed in what God has called me to do. So thank you for believing in me, AIM, and ultimately God and the journey He’s had for me.
While it’s been a great journey, I’m still in need to fully finish this thing. I need $2,500 to be fully funded for my World Race. I know many people have supported me and helped me get this far and I am beyond thankful. While I do get to finish the race, I will be obligated to pay AIM back whatever I don’t raise, and coming off the field for a year without working is going to make that a burden. I can’t carry that load by myself, so I’m reaching out on more time for help. Help me finish this thing fully funded. I’m reaching out and asking for more. One more donation, a little more money, a few more blog shares or word of mouth conversations about me and my journey. I’m believing in Matthew 7:7 and the promise that God is faithful.
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