After hours of being sick, they finally took us to the hospital. I could barely walk to the car, and the bumpy roads to the hospital weren’t helping. It was taking what felt like a lifetime, and at any given moment I was going to blow again. I kept thinking to myself “we’re almost there, just don’t throw up again. It’s going to be ok.” Finally we arrived, and I was helped, more like carried, into the hospital and placed on a bench. I was first up and was told I had to get a shot, blood drawn, and be admitted to the hospital. I was fine, at least that’s what I kept telling everyone and myself, hoping someone would believe me. I talked them out of giving me a shot and admitting me to the hospital and instead took the pills they gave me. “This should stop your nausea” is what I was told. I was apprehensive, but went along with it. I got my blood drawn, was carried to the bench again, and then it happened. A loud crashing sound and out of nowhere, someone was on the ground. She was trying to give me room to lay down, and before she made it to the other bench, she was out cold. Everything was going wrong. I looked around, couldn’t believe this was my life and all this was happening in the same night, and then I lost it. I broke out in laughter. I couldn’t control myself. Someone (one of my students) had just passed out, and I was laughing hysterically. In that moment, on one of the worst nights of my life, I choose joy.
JOY
something that runs through my bones
I get it, always have
It’s a part of my identity
My life is fueled by the joy of the Lord
Life is hard, bad things happen, but joy can change any situation
Choose joy
You have the option to decide how joyful situations will be in your life
Until recently, I’ve always been good at this
I always saw the good, no matter how hard it was
Recently I’ve laughed a little less
Saw less good in my situation
and doubted so much
All because of the number $15,500
one large number has stolen some of my joy
This number has made me question how good my God is
It’s made me believe less in His faithfulness and try to rely on my own strength
There have been so many moments where I was ready to throw in the towel and just give up
A few days ago I was reminded of something
I heard a sermon and the pastor challenged us to “laugh down our mountains”
Just laugh
Laugh down you mountains until they become level
Choose joy
So no matter how tired I am of the fundraising process
When I see the number $15,500, I will laugh
I will remind myself of why I am doing what I am doing
I will find 15,500 reasons to be joyful
One by one, I will laugh down that number
And when that last number is standing, I will rejoice
Once that mountain is level, I will find another one to laugh down
I will continue adding shots of joy to my problems
I will not let my peace be taken
and I will remember that I am destined for joy
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. 8 I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. 9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, 10 because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. 11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:7-11
Support Update:
Currently at : $4,449
Next Goal: $6,500 by December 15th
If you want to support me, either one time or monthly, click the "support me" tab on the left.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me so far. Your donations mean the world to me and I can't express how grateful I am for every single one of them. I truly appreciate all your prayers and financial support.
