I’ll never forget a project I did in elementary school that involved beans, glue, and a cardboard cross. We were told to create, make something beautiful for our parents by gluing the beans onto the cross. Mostly everyone in my class had the same method of attack: put glue on the cross, grab a handful of beans, drop them on the cross, and hope they stick. This was repeated until the whole cross was covered. When I looked at my cross, I however saw sections, and when I looked at my beans I saw different colors, so I designed my cross based on the beans. Each section of my cross was assigned a “color” bean and the middle of it was an accumulation of them all. I was so proud of that cross and so excited mine looked different than everyone else’s. I couldn’t wait to take it home and show my grandma what I created, and she loved it (so much so that she still has it displayed in our house). I loved the process of decorating it and making it “special,” making it stand out and look how I wanted it to. It was at that moment that I feel in love with art.
Art was something I loved and over the years became more interested in. I started looking into all the different types of art: painting, photography, drawing, printmaking, and so on and so forth. Each time I found something new, I feel deeper in love with the depth of art and all that entitles that little word. I loved the way it all smelled, felt, and made me feel. It was hard to explain, but I felt something inside of me when I saw a good piece of art that I never experienced elsewhere. There’s always been something so intriguing about all the colors, blending together to make a masterpiece, something so beautiful it’s hard to peel you eyes away because it’s so detailed. After high school, I knew I didn’t want to go to college for a “normal” degree, so I looked into art schools, and decided that was where I belonged. Sometimes though, things don’t always turn out how you planned; art school was that for me.
I have never been so lost or doubted myself more than I did in the two years I spent in school. It was filled with competition, but it was on a level I had never experienced before. People walked around with the mentality of every man for himself and do whatever you have to get to the top. There’s this thing about art school that you don’t know about unless you’ve attended one and been a part of the community there, and it’s hard to explain to an “outsider” about what really goes on behind those doors, but if you’re not prepared for what you’re walking into, it’ll get you. I wasn’t prepared and I left school defeated. I was never going to be as good as the work I saw within those walls and I was never going to make it to the top, so I waved my white flag and left school with my head hung low. I never wanted to create again.
When I moved back home, I packed all my art supplies away in the storage closest and turned my back on my passion. For the longest time, I didn’t pick up my camera. I was ashamed of any photographs I ever took, and I hid all my printed work and drawings under my bed. For two years, I had nothing to do with art, then I came on the World Race and all that changed.
The race allows you to be anything you want to be in the retrospect that if you want to explore something new or something challenging, you have ample opportunities and tons of people to encourage you along the way. I’ve slowly creeped my way back into doing art on the race and it started in South Africa when Morgan and Rachel were making cards for people back home out of old books, paper, and fabric. I decided to try making one, and it came out much better than I thought. Making cards turned into photographing more which turned into designing more and that turned into painting more. I felt more alive this month than I have any previous months and I think a part of that due to creating more. Nothing was holding me back from doing what I love.
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This month I wasn’t an art school dropout, I was an artist and I let loose. I created things I never thought I could and I helped empower people to do the same. I painted, drew, photographed, and ultimately I let myself be free from any criticism. I let myself fall back in love with art and my mind be free with all the possibilities of creating something beautiful.
So to my fellow art school dropouts or just those afraid to try something you love because of other people, get up and go be free. Go get lost in the moment while you create something for yourself and know that whatever you create is perfect. Don’t let anyone or yourself stop you from doing what you love. You were born to create.
(my awesome team helped me put the classroom together…not everything in the classroom pictures was created by me)
I still need $3,440 to be fully funded for the race. Any amount will help me get closer to my goal.
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Thank you so much!
