Training Camp Day 3
I didn’t expect too much coming into training camp, but it has definitely been fun, refreshing, and helpful. I’ll just share a bit of my feelings through these past few days.
Before coming to Atlanta, many people asked if I was nervous and scared for the trip, but I told them I was totally fine. Man, I was wrong. Upon arriving, it wasn’t too hard reaching out to my team members and getting to know them, since I’m usually pretty comfortable as an extrovert. However, the more people I met, the more I became overwhelmed, and the craziest thing I least expected happened: I was hit with culture shock, and eventually I started feeling homesick. I realized that I was the only Asian among everyone at camp (not just my squad, but every other squad as well). These two things were so far from my mind I didn’t really know how to handle it. I had convinced not only my friends and family, but even myself that I wouldn’t struggle with being in a community that was so different from how I grew up. Back home, I grew up in a community predominantly Asian; the most diversity I would meet would be in school, but I met most of my friends when I was younger. I also attended a Chinese church, and even though I went to the English ministry, most people came from a Chinese background. For the first time in a long while, I felt extremely lonely, and I wasn’t comfortable enough with my team to share with them. I began to question and doubt if this was the right place to be, and I got frustrated at God for placing me in this miserable position. I thought I didn’t belong here. Even when my squad leader casually asked how I was doing, I would give them a simple answer like I was fine and didn’t need anything.
Thankfully, during training, we dove into Scripture many times, and even practiced how to listen for the Holy Spirit. The more I read God’s word and asked the Holy Spirit for guidance, the more comfort I experienced. During our free time, I decided to take some alone time with God; I texted my family to pray for me, and wrote out how I was feeling and read through my devotional on Psalms to see if God wanted to show me something. Crazy enough, the Lord spoke directly to me and reminded me that I shouldn’t care about how others might think of me, or even how I think of myself, because He loves me just as I am, and I don’t need to pretend like I know everything or act like a different person.
God has taught me so much the past two days at training already, and He has really humbled me so much and shown me how to rely on Him and keep my heart open to the calling of the Holy Spirit. My squad has been extremely supportive, and I can only imagine how much more God will continue changing me throughout this trip.
I really want to upload some photos into my blogs, but I’m using my phone to update, and transferring pictures onto this takes way too long. I will try including some photos here and there, but most of them will be in the photo/gallery section, so go check them out!
