This month has been a whirlwind of emotions. I’ve had days full of joy and nights full of pain. I’ve had times where I laugh so hard I can’t breath and too many nights where I feel so homesick I can’t sleep. I have felt angry at God and comforted by His truth moments later. But I’ve also felt overwhelmed by God’s goodness and His grace when I am so undeserving.
But right in this moment, I am most thankful for letters from home.
A few days before I left for the World Race one of my best friends, Courtney, handed me two letters. Like shown above, one has written on it, “Read this when things are really hard” and the other, “Read this whenever you are feeling homesick.”
I picked them up a few times in the earlier weeks, but would always put them away after talking myself out of it. I’d make excuses like I wasn’t really that homesick or things can’t really be that hard?
But yesterday, in the same day, I read both.
Christmas is right around the corner, the holiday season is at its peak! Carols are playing everywhere we go, even though it’s pouring rain here and there isn’t a snowflake in sight. Yet, my team has still managed to get our hands on a tree that we found in the cabinet and stockings that were gifted to us from another church.
Honestly, I think we all desire for tradition and for a sense of familiarity at this time of the year.
I miss home, my family, my friends, and my man. I think I have looked at letters and photos almost every single day this month. I find myself day dreaming I’d be home for things like putting the tree up with my mom, decorating cookies with my nieces and nephews, window shopping with Dillon, and planning christmas chaos with my sisters.
But after nights of tossing and turning and missing my loved ones. I realized, Christmas or not, my amazing team has become my family. This missions trip has become my holiday season. And right now, although I am (veryyyyy) homesick, God has become my greatest comfort and I am reminded ultimately Jesus is my eternal prize.
This weekend the girls and I get to carol in the local neighborhood. We get to hand out goodies and cards at the children’s hospital. We get to perform a christmas program and speak loud the name of Jesus to some who have never heard His name before!
I get to, for 8 more months, preach to and serve God’s people in places where church isn’t a regular thing or Jesus’ name isn’t common. Places where Christmas programs and summer camp isn’t a yearly tradition. And I get to be a part of God’s work in areas of the world I never imagined setting foot in, for just a short season.
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9
I was reminded of that privilege when I read Courtney’s words, “You are doing something that matters for eternity whether it seems like that or not. Don’t lose sight of that.”
So, even though I can’t wait to bring home all that I am learning and be a part of Berks County Ministry again, and even though I have never missed home more than I do right in this moment, I am asking for prayer to be reminded daily that this is where God has me for a season. And I pray I will remain homesick, but for the Kingdom of Heaven and eternities doors.
I miss you all. I love you all.
-Jeorgianna
( Here’s poem I wrote on one of those emotional days I had this month. )
My Souls Eternal Prize
The stars are always shinning
in the darkness of the night
The hope of mornings dawn
on the blanket of my eyes
–
Before I fall asleep
and the moment when I wake
My soul longs for something
That’s when I remember your name
It’s from your Promises I can sing
It’s from your Truth my voice will rise
Its’ from your Love my hands are lifted
You’re my souls eternal prize
When my tears wet the pillow
and my heart aches from wounds
When thoughts grow louder still
and memory’s prolong their tunes
Oh but, you are not to blame
It’s from your Goodness I can sing
It’s from your Power my voice will rise
It’s from your Victory my hands are lifted
You’re my souls eternal prize
Though shadow’s come from every corner
and dusk knocks at sunsets door
The moon phase of my sorrow
is but a wave on the oceans floor
–
Laughter comes when mornings rise
Light consumes all fear
Joy cannot be contained
when I remember you are near
It’s from your Breath I can sing
It’s from your Roar my voice will rise
It’s from your Peace my hands are lifted
You’re my souls eternal prize
–
You’re my King and my redeemer
of all these sleepless nights.
I will, forever, remember your name
For Jesus is my eternal prize
