I’ve written multiple blogs in the past two months. I don’t know if I’ll ever post the others. I don’t know if i will post this one, either. I’ve been wanting to share with the people I love what these past two months have looked like. But most of the time I don’t know what that is. My thoughts come and go and build off of each other and one bleeds into the next. I often don’t realize I have a thought fully-formed until days later when words come into my mind to put some order in the mess. There is one story that I have always known I wanted to share, and I was reminded of it again this past Sunday, at my church’s Easter service.
Two months ago today, I found out my dad died. We were staying in a pink house on the outskirts of Buenos Aires, Argentina as a squad. I found out in the afternoon. I didn’t really sleep that night. I had nightmares for about an hour, but I don’t think I was actually asleep. I got out of bed about 3am and showered. I watched the sunrise. When it was light out, I went for a walk. I was in shock, but I was also angry, and I didn’t want to slow down. I had to keep moving. I walked up and down the dirt roads around our house for about an hour before I headed back.
When I was almost to our house, an older gentleman on a bike stopped me. He was wearing a sweater with a tie and had a basket on the front of his bike. He was Argentinian and only spoke Spanish. He was lost and wanted to know what street we were on. I explained (in my broken Spanish) that he was on the right street, it just went down further. Then he asked me why I was sad. I told him that my dad had died the day before. He told me he was sorry. He then said that his parents both died when he was twenty-five. He pulled out his bible and asked if I had one. I replied yes and opened the bible app on my phone. He led me to Revelations 21:3-4
“I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
Dang. God loves us so much. This man might not of known it, but I knew that the Lord sent him down this dirt road at 8am to speak to me. This man who had also experienced loss when he was twenty-five. Here’s what gets me: when this man was my age, God already knew that decades later He would use that man to encourage me.
This past Sunday at church, our pastor spoke about this verse. How pain and death will come to each of us on this earth. We still grieve and mourn, and that doesn’t mean we don’t hope in the Lord. God has promised that he will take all of these things away, and his promises are true. This reminder brought me back to that morning in Argentina with that sweet old man. It made me realize how far the Lord has brought me in the two months since my dad passed, and how faithful he has been.
This Easter held a different meaning in my heart. It felt more real than ever before. We need Jesus so deeply. What he did was the single greatest act of love in human history. I am so thankful for the promises that I can rest in, and that I know that ultimately He has already defeated death. He cries with me in the grief, but I know that I won’t be left here.
He is risen, alleluia.
