As I am sharing my testimony with my teammates I am realizing that a huge part of my testimony has been loneliness and friendship and so I want to share that with you now.
For so long I continued to surround myself with people who didn’t love me, who never REALLY go to know me or ask life’s deep questions. Did I have moments of laughter with a friend, yes…but for me it did not outweigh the moments of feeling alone as I sit watching Netflix in my room or seeing other people intentionally sought out and poured into.
I thought if I attended youth group at my church and Younglife in my community that I would find my best friends, because after all these people loved God so they were supposed to be kind right? Wrong. In fact I felt MORE isolated as I felt like I was always on the outside of conversations or just kind of ‘there’.
I participated in so many sports—swimming, cross country, track, triathlon—I thought if I was the best at the sport and did everything I was supposed to I would find people who wanted to be friends with me. But still it wasn’t good enough.
But going into college sports should be different right? Thoughts excited me of my collegiate swim team being like a sorority, a group of best friends that fulfill this loneliness inside of me. Still nothing, and quite frankly I felt the loneliness the most in this season. However I am so glad because I needed to be weak to allow Him to be strong, because His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in weakness. AND realizing that He did not allow me to have those friendships until I no longer putting my worth and joy in earthly of friendships, but instead only allowing my Heavenly Father to be my best friend, the one I lean on and where my joy comes from.
And He has given me that!! Praise God. Most noticeably I have seen that promise come through in my sweet sister in Christ, Shyanne. She has really loved me well, intentionally pursued me and just cared for me!! And now my community looks different than I could have imagined among my team and squad. They love me despite my flesh because they first love the Lord and they see me as their sister in Christ.
I have been intentionally pursuing others, asking their stories and just listening to people which has made all the difference. I am becoming more like Christ everyday as I intentionally pursue Him and as I see Christ in everyone around me.
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We just finished doing construction ministry yesterday here in Thailand—we were helping prepare a school to open in February! This looked like demolishing walls, painting and sanding walls, clearing out debri and many other small projects. We are excited for this school and what the Lord will do there!
We also have specific days of the week where we Ask The Lord (ATL) of who He wants us to talk to and see in the community of Chiang Mai. This is really sweet to be able to share conversations of how the Lord moved in us that day and working that muscle so its our reflex to do this daily not just on these specific days.
We also have had some incredible adventure days of playing with elephants, going to the highest point in Thailand, seeing majestic temples and views. One piece that I picked up sitting by this temple on a mountain looking into the sea of clouds is however I look at nature, with its majestic beauty and wonder is the EXACT same way the Lord looks at me. So now whenever I see anything beautiful in nature I will be reminded of how the Lord sees me.
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In my fundraising journey the Lord has brought in $13,000! Only God could do that, wow! However, I am still needing $5,000 more dollars to continue on this journey. This is an investment that has eternal benefit that you will see in Heaven. So, as you are in this season of thanksgiving consider what giving up a little extra so people in another country might know Christ, using me as a vessel to share that truth.
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Memory verses:
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about it, that it should leave me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecution, and calamities. For when I am weak, I am strong.
-2nd Corinthians 12:8-10
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer-self is wasting away, our inner-self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look to the things not that are seen, but that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient but the things that are unseen are eternal.
-2nd Corinthians 4:16-18
