I am reflecting on all month 11 was for me and it is hard to find the right words to be able to describe my Camino experience accurately to you. The Camino was great, I truly enjoyed my experience but it didn’t come without its challenges as well. Before we started the Camino the lord gave me the word challenge and there was a lot more that came with that word than I had expected. I knew that it would be a physically challenging experience but I had no idea how emotionally and spiritually challenging it would be as well.
Don’t get me wrong the majority of the Camino I truly loved walking, sharing, and loving the people around me. I felt like I was thriving because of the environment that the Camino has created. It has created its own culture. A culture of openness. A place where you can literally come around a table, and share a meal with people vastly different from you. A place where people are constantly asking each others and themselves questions. Usually the really big ones that people in our “normal” lives don’t take the time to stop and ask. Like why am I here, what’s my purpose, is there a God, if there is which one do I want to believe in? These were the questions I was asked regularly and honestly I never became tired of the conversations that would be spurred on by them.
Why are we afraid to ask ourselves these questions? What makes them such “hot button” topics that make people afraid to ask them? The more I had conversations about life things that really matter, the more I realized I tend to numb. I tend to allow myself to be swept in the current and to go with the flow rather than stand my ground and take a stand.
This is where the challenge came into play for me. As I walked the Camino I had a ton of time to process, think, and verbally process. Because of this set apart time I was able to deeply realize that life is better when I am actually living it rather than being numb and being swept in the current. I think this is part of what has intrigued me about leaving so soon to lead Gap Year. These last 11 months I have had to actually live my life because I was never comfortable enough to just coast. I had time to reflect on my whole World Race experience and I realized I had never felt more alive than I have this year. The uncomfortability and the constant change kept me on my toes. I had to learn to adapt quickly and love hard. I had to learn to live life with 23 other humans and figure out what healthy community looks like. This experience pushed me to become a better citizen of the world and to become a better me. I learned a ton over all the months but month 11 specifically on the Camino I learned a ton. I learned
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How much I value genuine connection.
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I often shoulder other people’s burdens in an unhealthy way.
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I can not protect everyone even though that is what I want to do.
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I can be opinionated and still loved.
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Every person on your path is there for a reason, divine appointment are real and I believe that God weaves people into our lives even for a few moments for a reason.
Now that I have had these groundbreaking realizations I know change needs to come. But how? This is where I am at as I come off the race and back into the states. Still trying to figure it out. I thought I would have more answers by the end of this experience but instead I have more questions. And honestly I am thankful.
