Have you ever had those days where you just don’t want to be doing what is expected of you. When an authority figure tells you to do something and it makes you want to run in the opposite direction. That was me earlier this week. This was really the first time on the race that I have felt 100% rebellious to what was expected of me. There have been times when I was partially feeling like running but I could quickly snap out of it. But this time was different. I could not shake the feeling.
It was a cold and dreary morning. Our squad left the house for our normal morning intersession but this time instead of going to the office we were stopping at the University and were told to prayer walk the campus. We were instructed to walk around the campus praying and interceding for the students and professors. Asking the Lord to create opportunities and ways for Hope Church to connect with the students there. Raul who helped start Hope Church believes that many of their future missionaries are within the walls of the University now. He is looking for people and ways to connect with the University. What a great vision, and way to faithfully be pursuing this vision the Lord gave him right? Well this was the day that I could not shake my rebellion.
All I wanted to do was walk around, thinking about other things and talking to people; everything in me wanted to distract my squad mates from praying and not pray myself. It was drizzling and the last thing I wanted to be doing in that moment was walking around in the rain. I also had other things on my mind; my gap year squad had just got to training camp and I was thinking a lot about them. I was wanting to be there in the hype of training camp, getting to know them and forming relationships with them. But that is not where the Lord had me. He had me here in the rain at the University in Craiova, Romania. He had me walking around in the rain praying for connections for the ministries working along with Hope Church. He had me in a place where I had the freedom to talk to Him and ask him questions. He had me physically moving around the campus and I believe that the physical walking around the campus changed my heart posture from one of bitternesses and not wanting to be where I was to one that was soft and pleading for the Lord to move in big ways!
The biggest thing the Lord showed me during that time was that sometimes it takes literal movement to change our heart posture. It took me about 3 laps of the campus for my heart to change from hard toward this activity to soft for the people. It took my literal steps to get my brain to shift from why me? To God send more people, create more relationships and partnerships for this church plant. God provide, God show up, God encourage the missionaries on the ground here, God change hearts and minds, God release people from the bondage they are carrying. I find that it is so interesting the way in which the Lord moves. The faithfulness of our God is wild, He is faithful even when we are not. I will never understand it. He is faithful to show up even when our hearts are not in it. He is faithful even when we are unfaithful. He is steady even when we feel all over the place or torn apart. God is WILD!
I feel like the Lord took me through this lesson because our next month will be a month of seeking him while in the midst of physical endurance. My squad will be hiking the Camino De Santiago. This is one of the oldest pilgrimages in the world. We get the opportunity to walk while seeking the Lord for insight on what transition looks like. He is kind to us and giving us the opportunity to get to the end of ourselves so that we can seek his will for what transition should look like. I know that this will not be an easy journey but I am excited to see what the Lord does through our physical movement. I think He is going to move in our hearts in ways we didn’t even know we need.
With the culture and nature of the Camino we will no longer be moving in our traditional teams. We will be walking the Camino is small groups of 3 or 4. I get the opportunity to know two of my squadmates I have not been on a team with before. I have chosen to walk the Camino with Courtney Yerkes and Sarah Oliver (aka Deb). Courtney is spunky, wild, deep, brave, and has a passion for people who are overlooked or forgotten. Sarah was renamed to Deb at the beginning of the race because she has the heart of Deborah. She is faithful, bold, courageous, curious, and refreshing. These women are people I had wanted to be on a team with throughout the race but never had the opportunity, so it is incredibly sweet of the Lord to give us this month together. I am excited to push them closer to the Lord and for them to push me toward Him as well. I can’t wait to see what the Lord does through these two powerhouses as we walk this journey together. Praying for strength, courage, health, safety, and moments to debrief the last 11 months. I would love for you all to join me in praying for these things. Thanks for following my journey!
