Many people have asked me how Costa Rica has been and the only way I can answer them is, “it has been good, hard, challenging, growing, fun, and wonderful all at the same time.” Then I try and explain why but most of the time I struggle to put into words what this experience has truly been like. God has been wrecking my squad in the greatest ways and that is a joy to experience, but it has also been really challenging to navigate. I think it is challenging to explain because this journey is so different than my last. My 11 in 11 world race was all about my own growth and personal journey with the lord, while getting the added bonus of serving and helping others. This time it is still partly about my own personal journey and growth, but it is also so much more focused on the growth and development of my Squad humans. As a Squad Leader it is Jordan, my co-lead, and I’s jobs to walk alongside them through the thick and thin. We are here to give perspective into the struggles, coach them in walking into deeper intimacy with God, show them what true community can look like, and to enjoy this crazy adventure God has called us all on.
I think the tension presents itself in figuring out how to navigate individual relationships with each person, the collective group, and my own personal journey. These are some questions I have been processing lately:
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What does it mean to hold someone’s confidence and trust while also navigating the larger community living?
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How do I actually lead in vulnerability without dumping things on the squad or individuals?
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What does it look like for me to take in the hard things people are processing without trying to carry those things for them?
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What is the line between being a parent figure and a mentor or friend?
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How do I move from trying to fix situations for people to coaching them through them?
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What does it actually look like to take everything to the Father and allow him to speak into every situation?
God is using this experience to build deeper trust and intimacy with him. I literally have to take everything to him because my effort and strength is and will never be enough. I know in the deepest parts of me that there is no way I could do this job on my own. I would be a literal wreck and probably be bitter and angry. But that is the sweet thing, God doesn’t ask me to do any of it. He only asks me to bring everything to him and allow him to speak through me. I have caught myself saying things to people that I could never have come up with on my own, and typically it is exactly what they needed to hear. That is God speaking through me. What is wild is that it feels non stop, 24/7 and it seems like there is never enough time in the day to get everything done, but somehow it all happens. That somehow is all God. I am thankful for each day of this experience and I know I am where I am supposed to be. These squad humans are growing, learning, and changing into the sweet, deep and bold humans the Lord has created them to be. I am so thankful to be a part of it and to see it happen more and more each day. Thanks God!
Here is a picture of my whole squad from our month 1 debrief in Jaco, Costa Rica.
Here they are in the pool at the awesome hostel the squad stayed in called, room2board.
Here is a group of us taking a photo to document a great day of Ask The Lord (ATL) ministry.
This is team Jamasi from when we went to the La Montana Christian Camp to help as work crew for the weekend.
Here are the Sovereign Sons and I after doing some manual labor for the Abraham Project.
This is my red eyed tree frog, who until we took this picture looked brown because it was dark outside.
