It is so crazy to think that this time next year i will be in the beautiful country of Thailand ! Followed by Christmas in Cambodia. I am so excited to spend such a symbolic part of christianity with that community and all the ministry opportunities that will come with it. My mind is constantly thinking about what to expect on this trip to come, what i should pack ( which seems to be very few things and so i will choose them wisely ), fundraising ideas and getting to know my futur family of teamates that i will spend the upcoming year with. One this is for sure im a day dreamer and I love to fill my time with thoughts of what to come. But all of this has pretty much taken all of my focus and left it very hard to concentrate on the 'now 'part of my life.
After finding out I have been blessed with this opportunity it really is all that i can think about and it really is starting to take its toll on my life here in Ottawa right now. Getting up and feeling excited about going to work everyday is probably one of the hardest tasks in my life right now. It feels so hard to invest time and energy into something when i know they time will come for me to call it quits and embark on what feels like the most radical year of my life. I will admit its even hard to grow new friendships because I just cannot stand to say goodbye to more people than i already have to. I must say the last few months of preparation have also had some great influence on me for sure. It has already helped me to really distinguish my needs from wants and the thought of just buying more things that i will have to store for a year really made me realize how content i really am with everything I have right now.
The men who have most fully illustrated Christ in their characters, and have most powerfully affected the world for Him, have been men who spend so much time with God as to make it a notable feature in their lives.. To be little with God is to be little for God. – E.M Bounds
So this week I have been praying alot for focus and Gods assurance that no matter where I am, if He is always with me then i will always be present and focused on the task at hand. I think many people always tend to procrastinate their spiritual growth. It would be in ways that we don't even realize it. For myself its waiting impatiently for this trip to start, while others it could simply just waiting for the Lord to direct you or show you your 'calling' in life. Sorry to disappoint everyone but the more we sit and do all this waiting and day dreaming, we are missing out on the experience God has for us right here and right now in our lives. We are missing out on listening , hearing, speaking, and seeing our beautiful Lord at work daily. Yes we will be changed and moved by big events and trips but it is the growth that can only come with your walk with the Lord that will make you experience everyday as His call on your life and know that you are always being lead in the right direction.
Romans 12:2 " Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world. but be tranformed by the renewing of your mind"
Now listen, you who say. "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say. " If it is the Lord's will we will live and do this or that." James 4:13-16
This week i realized i need to stop procrastinating my spiritual growth and i know with that will essentially come growing pains and focus on areas of my life that I have been pushing aside for to long but are very present today. I need to stop stunting my growth and build strength and a firm foundation to run my race with perserverance!
Praise God i am 5% funded for my trip already and have been so blessed with the generosity of everyone !
Happy thanksgiving to all my new American friends
God bless !
