If someone asks to take a photo of you it really is first instinct to drop what your doing strike a nice pose and smile for the camera. This week i was thinking of how funny it is sometimes that when our picture is being taken, no matter the mood we are in, we will smile and hope that we look our best. We want anyone who looks at that picture to believe we are truely happy and having fun all the time in our lives. We would look pretty old fashion if we were to just sit there with a blank serious expression across our face. But it is true that sometimes our mood really does not reflect what people see in those pictures.
It got me thinking and relating this back into my own life and the way I am portrayed to others. Do I always put on my "smile" (christian lifestyle ) infront of others at times when im really struggling or trying to hide the facts that there are certain areas of my life that resemble pictures of what I would not want people to see. I know to most people they think of me going on this trip and say, " wow she must have it all together," Or " She must be so strong in her faith to take the year to preach the gospel to complete strangers." The reality is no I dont have my life all put together and everyday my faith is growing but just like Thomas I doubt and like Moses i will obey the call God has given me.
This week I have done alot of reflecting on my self portrait and have come to realize that alot of the time I am smiling on the outside. But I soon realized if someone was to take that picture when I wasn't prepared or looking, I would really appear like a person trying to write a physics exam that knows nothing about the subject. In other words I would look completely lost! I always fool myself by thinking I am playing my cards right and following the rules and the motions that come with the North American lifestyle. But thinking like that just makes me feel more lost because it makes me question why would I leave my job, use all my money, and take a year away from this lifestyle that seems to be progressing greatly. I mean thats a year that I could be working up to higher postitions, saving more money, buying a car, potentially meeting a husband so that i can get married like that rest of my friends. ( Which seems to be happening alot !) And that is when I see the exact problem. All of that just involves me and thats when I realize I have nothing if that is all I have. I am nothing withough my God and he does not follow the timing of this world. To think of what my camera shot would really look like without a God centered life really makes me sad.
I know it is so easy to get caught up thinking we are happy or atleast should act that way when we are doing well to the eyes of the people around us. But unless we acknowledge that it is not because of our own great decisions or stratigic life planning skills that our life is so great but the greatness of our God that has allowed us to be in this position we are in, we are no longer alone in our photgraph. I can garuntee you will never go a day without smiling knowing the Lord Jesus is beside you every step of the way.
So acknowledge him for everything he has done for you because of your faith in him and be prepared for him to break the American lifestyle rules and know that he will keep you smiling even if that means quiting your job, moving, making more time for other people or spending less with others, and even giving up things you would never dream off.
" Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:"Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These rules which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. "
Colossians 2:21-22
God bless ! I am now 7% funded for my trip . YAY 
