When I first got to the Philippines, I didn't believe that God would "break my heart".
It was too beautiful here, the people were too nice, there was wifi, and 24 hour coffee accommodations at our compound. Most people here speak English, and everything is about $2 or less USD. All I could see here was the opportunity to explore, adventure and wrap myself up in culture.
Because of how friendly the atmosphere was, and how comfortable the people were with us spending time with them… I didn't see there being a chance for negativity or heartache.
The more time I spend immersed in the culture, the deeper my relationships have become with very specific children here. I know their likes and dislikes, their joys and sorrows, and the very real struggles they face within their families/living situations.
Today was a day of true, utter heartache. A day that surprised me, and was perpetuated by something simple.
I saw him again. A. The first little boy that sought me out, starved for my attention.
When he noticed me first, he reached up and grabbed my hand with his and dragged me out on to the street to play. He reached up and begged for me to hold him, spin him, and make him laugh just like last time. 
Today, he did the same. He remembered me and he ran up in the same manner. His eyes lit up when he saw me and instead of leaping for joy, like anyone else's response would have been, my heart sank. Why didn't I feel the same joy in my own heart as I did the last time I saw him?
I can tell you why. Green mucus was seeping from his eye, he was wearing the same shirt… this time with no pants, his face was caked with dirt, and he smelled even more like the garbage of the surrounding area. He is not being taken care of. There is no one putting him first. Feeding him regularly, bathing him, educating him, or loving him. Only passersby.
It is one thing to come into a new place, serve, then move on to the next. It is another to establish bonds. I had assumed that each month would be spent establishing new partnerships, but nothing too deep. I realized today that I am connected to the people here… the children here. I realized that today I am noticed.. loved.. appreciated and sought after. I am a joy in these children's lives and I am making a difference just by loving them.
When I leave, they will still be here. These are not people to look at like part of the scenery… these are real people with real hearts and I am part of them. In the same way that I saw A again today, I will be reconnecting with people weekly, if not daily for the next 11 months. Each month my heart will be broken for these people.
The people here in the Philippines…
and
Malaysia.
Cambodia.
Vietnam.
India.
Nepal.
Ukraine.
Romania.
Malawi.
Mozambique.
Swaziland.
I may not be able to change the world, but I do know that I can and will try my very best to be a consistent mirror of God's light in the lives of these beautiful people. They deserve at least that.
To my supporters – Thank you so so much for making it possible for me to be here. This trip has already been a blessing in so many ways. My life has already been changed tremendously. I don't know that I will ever be able to look at my future the same way, and for that change of heart I am so so thankful.
My next deadline is in December.
I will need to raise $11k by then and I am under $2k away from meeting it!
If you would still like to partner with me, one time donations can be made towards this goal from now until November 15th. 🙂
Salamat Po!! ( Thank you in Tagalog )
