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If you don’t know me, you may think I am the quietest girl around.
 
Those of you who REALLY know me, know this just ISN’T TRUE!
 
I love to talk.  Ever since I was little, my parents could not get me to stop yapping.
 
I would talk to ask questions.
I would talk to get to know people.
I would talk to have conversations with people both real and imaginary.
I would talk to prove a point.
I would talk to argue.
I would talk to defend myself and others.
I would talk to entertain.
I would tlak to teach my dolls, my sisters, and my neigbors.
I would talk to practice memory verses aloud.
I would talk to practice lines for church musicals aloud.
I would talk to tell people about Jesus.
I would talk to compare myself to others.
I would talk to figure out a problem.
I would talk to look good for the video camera.
I would talk to fill silences.
I would EVEN talk to hear myself talk.
 
You get the picture.
 
I LOVED TO TALK!

 

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The other day, a friend was describing someone she considered incredibly ANNOYING.  According to her, this girl had frizzy hair, asked a bajillion questions, AND she argued with everything.  “You would say the sky was blue, and she would say, no, it is green.  She was the most annoying girl, EVER!” 
 
Somewhere amidst her description, I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach.  Was she talking about me?  First off, my hair is incredibly frizzy.  Not only that, but I ask a lot of questions  . . . . . I mean seriously . . . . I really ask a lot of questions.  I have been given the “Most Inquisitive” award before AND nicknamed “Question Girl” on one or two occasions. Not only that, but my dad use to say that whole blue/green sky comment about me.  Am I annoying too?  Oh crud . . . 
 
Well, it turned out she was NOT talking about me . . . phew . . . but even still, it got me to thinking.  DO I TALK TOO MUCH??  Am I really TOO argumentative?? 
 
The sermon in church two Sundays ago was about being fruitful and quite a few of the verses felt like a direct hit.  (Quite a few of these were not directly mentioned during the service, but I read over them as the preacher spoke.)
 
“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is STUPID.” -Proverbs 12:1

 

“The way of a FOOL seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.  A FOOL shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” -Proverbs 12:15-15
 
The hardest part of this trip so far has been listening to advice.  I ALWAYS think I am right . . . ALWAYS . . . and I automatically shrink back anytime someone mentions a flaw they see in me.  I just automatically want to stick up for myself.  Does this make me a FOOL?  Does this make me STUPID?  What if I actually AM RIGHT?

In addition to this, EVERYTHING I have been reading in the Bible lately seems to do with listening to others, listening to advice, and wisely choosing words that are spoken.  Every other verse in Proverbs seems to deal with it, and Ecclesiastes 5 is big on it as well.  Even in Ezekiel, there is an emphasis on listening- on Ezekiel listening to God and on a people that will not listen and will suffer because of it.

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning.” -Proverbs 1:5a

“The wise in heart accepts commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.” -Proverbs 10:8

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” -Proverbs 10:19

“A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of a fool blurts out folly.” -Proverbs 12:23

“He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly comes to ruin.” -Proverbs 13:3
 
“Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” -Proverbs 13:10
 
“Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.  As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words.” -Ecclesiastes 5:2-3
 
“Do not let your mouth lead you into sin.” -Ecclesiastes 5:6a
 
“Much dreaming and many words are meaningless.  Therefore STAND IN AWE OF GOD.” -Ecclesiastes 5:7
 
“The more the words the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?” -Ecclesiastes 6:11
 
Over the past 48 hours, our squad, Q SQUAD, has been undergoing a time of prayer and fasting.  We each had two one hour time slots where we needed to spend the time praying for the squad, our teams, and people back at home.  We were also supposed to choose SOMETHING to fast from, whether food, the internet, etc.  As of Monday morning, I still had NO IDEA what to fast from.  I couldn’t fast from running.  I had to figure out how many miles it was to the giraffe farm for the team.  I couldn’t very well fast from eating then because I needed to eat if I ran AND I still don’t think I am ready mentally or psychologically to mess with food. 
 
I had the verse “Let you words be few . . . STAND IN AWE OF GOD” in my head right upon waking up.  Hmmmmmm . . . . . in Malaysia, a teammate had fasted from speaking to better listen to God.  Maybe I could do that.  So, upon leaving my bed, I decided that my fast would be from speaking.  I confirmed the thought when I saw that the verse for the day in my “Traveling Light” book, “I’m asking God for one thing, only one thing:  To live with him in his house my whole life long.  I’ll contemplate his beauty:  I’ll study at his feet.  That’s the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world.” -Psalm 27:4-5.  Could I do it?  Would I feel silly or dumb?  What could I do if I was asked questions?  I DID decide to speak when the gospel needed to be shared, but other than that, I would be SILENT!
 
So, for the past two days, I have been as quiet as a mouse.  Other than the about three accidental times I spoke or the times I was sharing the gospel, my mouth was ZIPPED! 
 
What were the hardest parts of not being able to use my voice?
 
For one, I could not defend myself.  I was accused of getting someone’s computer wet this morning, which I had no idea I had done, and I could say NOTHING.  All I could do was make a dumbfounded face.
 
Also, it was VERY frustrating to not be able to sing.  I LOVE worshipping God through song.  I LOVE JUST belting it out.  I LOVE helping the team with the words.  They even asked me to just break the fast for a moment just to sing, but I couldn’t.
 
In addition to that, it was incredibly hard to not be able to encourage people verbally.  Luckily, I love writing letters, so I still had that, but I felt in a way helpless, in a way useless.
 
It was difficult to not be able to share stories as well.  I love to chime in with my own tales when others are sharing, but I couldn’t do that either.  I couldn’t do much of anything!
 
What I came to realize is this, there is a place for talking, and a place for silence.  “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven . . . a time to be silent and a time to speak.” -Ecclesiates 3:1, 7b 
 
Due to the fact I couldn’t defend myself, I think it was much easier to let the issues blow over.
 
Due to the fact I couldn’t chime in with my own stories, I actually HEARD what the others were saying rather than preparing my own speial.
 
There is a time when it is okay to defend someone, but there is also a time when starting up a defense will only bring more trouble.
 
There is a time when telling a story is needed, but there is a time when it really isn’t necessary.
 
Through my experience, I now see that the times I REALLY STILL desire to open my mouth are these:
 
1. when sharing the gospel (whether in big groups or one-on-one)
2. when talking with those who need Jesus
2. when having conversations about the Bible
3. when encouraging someone
4. when greeting people
5. when singing to the Lord
6. when praying
 
God has given us mouths for a reason, and when we open them, whatever words come forth should be for HIS GLORY.
 
“If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God.” -I Peter 4:11a