How I Was Called

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If you had ever told me (ooh color!) that I would be taking this kind of trip when I was younger, I would have told you YEAH RIGHT!   When I was younger, I used to be scared of just about everything.  I would say, “I would NEVER be a missionary!” or “I am never going to fly on a plane!” 

 

During my junior year of college, however, God started to slowly release me of many of these fears.  I had been struggling with an eating issue, and everyone kept saying I needed to gain weight, but I just didn’t want to listen.  Well, when I finally realized I needed to give control over to God, I started to have such a joy in life and so many things that had been holding me back started slipping away.  I was convicted by this verse, “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.  This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” -Proverbs 3:7-8.  There was also a part in a song by Scott Phillips that really helped me: “The more control you try to gain, the more control you lose, till what you’ve done to get control is now controlling you.”  I needed to give God control of my eating, my running, and my daily life.

 

So, once this happened, I really started to have the desire to go on a mission trip to another country.  During chapel at Olivet, many students were sharing their experiences, and God started really giving me the desire to go somewhere and step out on a limb for him.  I started looking online and gave my email to many different organizations.  But, as I looked, I couldn’t find anything that would work with my schedule or any trip where I was the right age.  One day, about a month or two later, while on a run, my friend Simone asked if I needed prayer for anything.  I told her I really felt I needed to go on a mission trip but couldn’t find any such trip that was at the right time.  She prayed for me, and lo and behold, when I got back to my room, I had an email about a trip to Zambia with Adventures in Missions.  It would involve speaking to junior highers about purity and God’s plan for their lives, however, and I thought, ME??  DO THAT??  YEAH RIGHT!!!  But, this email seemed to be an answer to prayer and maybe I needed a trip like this to really learn to trust God and let him speak through me.  I ended up signing up for the trip and LOVING it!  I loved the people, living out of a tent, spending so much time with God in prayer and quiet times, the lack of materialism, and the fellowship with other believers.  While everyone else kept saying they couldn’t wait to return home, I didn’t want to leave.

 

After going on this trip, Adventures in Missions kept sending me messages about other trips, particularly an 11 month mission trip called the World Race.  It looked amazingly crazy but seemed like something right up my alley.  However, my dad said I should probably get a real job first and pay off my school loans before doing anything that adventurous.  SO, for the past three years I have been teaching 7th grade math and coaching cross country and track.  I loved the kids and I loved being able to use my creative spirit and childlike nature to reach out to them.  BUT whenever someone would ask me if my passion was in teaching, I would always be thinking in the back of my mind that my true passion may lie in missions. 

 

Last summer, I went with my youth group on a mission trip to Red Lake Indian Reservation.  The theme was about being FREE and having freedom in Christ, and I started to really be convicted about certain things.  What in my life would I really be willing to give up for Christ?  Could I ever give up something like running for him?  What about my family?  What about my job?  After that trip, I really started obsessing less and less about running and even stopped keeping track of my daily mileage.   That trip also made me realize just how much I love fellowship with other believers and working side by side for Christ.

 

During the fall, I started to face one of the hardest struggles in my life thus far.  Someone I loved and cared about to a huge extent just no longer felt the same way, and I was devastated.  I thought my life was heading one way, and then it just did a 180.  I was just so depressed and heartbroken, and my joy for life seemed to have been snatched away.  Well, after one of the worst days of my life, I received an email about the World Race.  Suddenly, I just because super excited, and as I looked through the trip, so much of it was about fighting injustice, which is something I gained a passion for in college when we would watch movies about trafficking or child slavery.  Maybe God had to take certain things out of my life so that I would actually be willing to GO and follow after him for a year.  If certain things hadn’t happened, there was no way I would have left!!  I started to pray a lot about it, try to find what God wanted from me by reading his word, talk to a bunch of people, and make pro/con charts.  My parents basically flipped out the first time I mentioned the trip, but then they started to see how good this could actually be.  As I read in Matthew, these verses stuck out to me:

 

“As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Gallilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew.  They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen.  “Come follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” AT ONCE, they left their nets and followed him.” -Matthew 4:18-20

 

“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” -Matthew 10:37-39

 

“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a filed.  When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.” -Matthew 13:44

 

I needed to be willing to give everything up-my job, my family, my desires- to follow where Christ wanted me to go.  As I was convicted on my Red Lake trip, could I really give it all up for Jesus??  Well, the disciples were willing to.  The man who bought that field was willing to.  Had I really ever in my life truly had to trust God??  Here in America, it is so easy to live a comfortable life, free from struggles and pains that most in the world face each day.  This was my chance to give a full year to just serving Christ wherever he may lead me.  I want to grow as a Christian and reach out to others, and this type of trip would really allow that.

 

I ended up emailing my principal and vice principal telling them about my idea.  Well, it turns out, my principal was also a believer and said he would support whatever decision I made.  My vice principal sent me a message saying, “Remember what happened to Jonah?  If God wants you to go, you must go.”  It seemed like doors kept being open, and I finally decided to sign up for the trip.

 

So, I sent out support letters, quit my job, and now in just two months will be leaving for the biggest adventure of my life.  I won’t say it will be easy.  I am sad to leave behind my family, my Sandburg kids, my cross country team, my small group, my youth group, and my church.  I am scared by the thought I might not be able to run and stay in top shape.  I am frightened by the fact I may be called to a specific mission tield while on the trip and have to leave Wauconda for good.  BUT, I know God is in control.  I need to let him control each step I take and try to stop planning my own life.  As it says in Proverbs 16:9 “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”