It all came together for me at the last debrief in Hong Kong. My last blog is testament to the fact that something was going on inside of me… Someone calling to me, beckoning me past the old familiar road blocks, past the walls in my mind, past the doubts that such a place existed to which I felt inexplicable drawn. I surrendered to Him and knew that it was a crossroads for me, as cliché as that may sound. The thing is, it is cliché, but that’s only because this is the way this life for me will be as long as I’m on earth….a constant climb, a life of seasons, ebbs and flows, falling down and getting back up. I can’t live on the mountaintop, because I desperately need to know the God of the desert. Only then can I proclaim Him to the ones who live in a place of desolation.
So that feeling accompanied me to debrief, leaving me empty and ready, which seems contradicting, but isn’t. And there the soaking began. God was there, eager to pour into me, the vessel that finally obeyed and became emptied of any self or any last attempts at self preservation. I had nothing and needed everything, and that is when I crawled up to the River of Life and started drinking.
I feel like Mary Magdelene all over again! I was found in sin and hurled at the feet of the only One who is qualified to judge me. And there I ran right into compassion and mercy….the forgiveness for all of my laziness, the wiping away of the selfish debris cluttering my heart, and the balm to heal up the wounds I had inflicted on myself. Those piercing eyes of my Lover found mine and all doubts of His love melted away under His gaze. I should have known better than to fall asleep in my spiritual walk, but it happened. And then, just like that, it was forgotten. And the best part is that I wasn’t told that I would have to go back to the beginning. He simply helped me up, dusted me off, and now we are walking together again. The only proof of this encounter is the dark patch of dirt containing my tears at the spot where I fell.
He is the only Redeemer. He chose to give me yet another chance, and this time He has accelerated something in me. I am learning easier, catching my flesh sooner, heeding His instruction faster, and loving Him deeper than I can remember. I can only share this because I know He gets the glory. I have nothing to boast in, yet I am finding that my feet are standing firm in this truth and I refuse to be blown around by the wind. I know who I am in Him, and that my identity is hidden under His wings.
And all of this has happened for such a time as this. It’s time for battle. His kindness has led me to repentance, just like His Word promises, and now I will use this revelation to take on the enemy. I have been sleeping for far too long and it’s time to war for what has been stolen. Not only things taken from me, but mostly for the people I meet everyday who do not even know that there is an unbelievable and life-changing inheritance with their name on it. I will tell them. Someone has to tell them. And I can see so clearly that the only way this will be accomplished is through prayer. How could I have missed this? Without prayer, the mountains cannot be moved and cast into the sea, lives cannot be changed, chains cannot be thrown off, the enemy cannot be bound up. The enemy has made it his job to see to it that we are unaware of the power behind prayer, but the veil has been taken off of my eyes and I see the battle for what it is.
If we all get this, things will change…they have to. I am being walked along on the path of wisdom and things I have been blinded to are coming into the light. I have been promised through the Word that I have everything I need for life and godliness. So do you, if you know Him. If you have been asleep, wake up with me. You are never too far. Reach out for His compassion and forgiveness and find your sword.
