I’m on a hotel bed right now, with mascara stains on my cheeks and that headache you have when you have held back tears for a few hours. We left the army base here in Honduras less than an hour ago, and already I feel like I have been away from my best friends for a really long time. Sometimes I think it’s stupid to try and put into words those deep emotions that we all have from time to time, but then again, sometimes it’s dumb not to try.
I have traveled the world. I have lived overseas now for the last 4 years, and yet the last two weeks are the ones I will remember and the ones that will stay at the forefront of my mind. Nobody can explain a God connection…you have to experience it to know it’s real. There has been a group of about 10 of us that have been chosen to share this bond that pretty much fell in our laps. It happened so fast we didn’t have time to question it. We met on an island, and then the 5 of us followed our army family here to Comayagua, just for the chance to be around them again.
We have been on the army base as much as we can, and the guys worked overtime to get us passes and do all the paperwork, sticking their necks out to vouch for us. We got to see the ins and outs of their jobs, which meant a lot of time on the flight pad and in the seats of black hawks and chinook helicopters. Our boys are pilots (and we have one aviation medic and an army counselor). We hung out almost every night, and during the days that we couldn’t hang out on base, we waited until they got off work to meet them for dinner.
Forget that I am on this race. Forget that I have done this thing and met people and have had to say goodbye for the last 10 ½ months. This is different, and these boys (and girl..Rachel!) deserve to be classified separately. They are my family. I love each of them. Not because I have to, or because it’s the right thing, or because it makes me feel like a good person. In fact, most of the time I watched their actions and behavior and began to see the gaps in my own life and the times that I miss it. No, I love them because I just do. God brought us together. He had a purpose. We just happened to follow Him to an island and stumbled upon this unbelievable group of people…my very own real life heroes.
Very few people in my life have looked after me the way they have. The five of us come back to the hotel at nights and talk about how crazy it is to be strangers when it comes to time span, but feel so naturally knit together with a group of people we never would have met if it weren’t for this last month. It’s been…perfect. I shake my head as the tears fall and smile at the way the last two weeks of my life have gone. I could ask for nothing more. I have more brothers than I thought possible, and a sister who I would bend over backwards for and do everything in my power to help if they needed me. This is friendship. It has transcended the surface level since the beginning. It has challenged me since day one and kept me laughing and smiling for two weeks.
Goodbyes are stupid. I hate them now. I refuse to say goodbye. I have to trust the Lord and I know that goodbyes are for final farewells, when you know that paths will never cross again, but you’re happy for the time that you’ve had. I won’t say good bye to you Sheldon, Adam, Dusty, Van, Emile, or Rachel. But I will say that you have made me a better person. Each of you has made me better. I needed each of you, and you showed up right on time…His time. Thank you for being you. You have left 5 people blown away by your kindness, your selflessness, and your love for us that seemed more often than not undeserved. But here I am, on the flip side of an awesome two weeks, wondering how long it will be until I get to see you again. He holds the world in His hands, and it turns out it’s not so big after all. If He brought us together once, He can do it again.
Please do it again, Lord.
