“For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a peril of death and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us.” 2 Corinthians 1:8-10
There have been a few times in my life where I found myself burdened beyond my own strength. It was usually after I had expended all my own energy and then “finally” gave in. Every time my Father God was there just waiting for me to give up and let Him handle the burden. God actually gave me verse 9 when I was in college just before a big storm hit in my life. The Lord and I have weathered many storms together and I have had to come to terms with my lack and His abundance every time. He is patient, He is caring, He gives what I need when I need it. He brings life to situations when all I can see is the imminent death that looms.
For many of us, the first few days in China were heavy and hard fought. As a squad we found ourselves battling things like depression, weariness, loss of joy and patience, shame, loss of confidence in who we are as God’s children, and many other emotional attacks. China, in fact Asia as a whole, has welcomed these spirits to reside; through ancestor worship and offerings made to the demonic during festivals. Many of us felt the effects of Asia’s deals with the devil. Let me be clear, I am speaking purely of the spiritual climate. I found the Asian people, in every country, to be very personable, sweet, and caring, however there are those who are deceived by the one whose name is The deceiver. We would meet in our individual teams and pray for the Lord to take the battle and to relieve our spirits. When we would come together for praise and worship every morning we would share our struggles and ask for God’s provision for that day. Because He is a good God who hears the cries of His people He answered. It was a daily battle and conscience choice every minute of the day to empty of ourselves and to be filled with the “Good Ghost”. Every time we were obedient He gave out strength and understanding much like He did to the children of Israel while wandering in the desert. While we wandered through the spiritual desert that we found China to be, every morning we would find the manna of strength, boldness, and hearts which yearned to see Christ’s love consume China and its people. Every night we would find the meat of rest, fellowship, and intimacy with Jesus. Our Father reminded us that these people are already His; He has won the battle for their hearts. He holds the keys to their freedom and He gave us the honor, along with those who serve faithfully full-time, to hold those keys while we were among them.
In those two weeks of struggle together we were blessed to see a new friend come to know the freedom that was already hers. We made many friends, planted seeds for the next team to water; we got to experience a vibrant culture, and we got to experience our Father meeting our needs for each new day. Our joy was made new each morning with His strength. Depression, loss of confidence, and weariness had to flee. We found ourselves shining as lights much stronger than the candle we sang about as children; but as the consuming blazes we hunger to be everyday. The Father proved yet again, that He has a plan for us. His plans that include a future and a hope and that prospers not only ourselves but those we get to share Him with.
The Lord is gracious and merciful; slow to anger and great in lovingkindness. The Lord is good to all, and His mercies are over all His works. Psalm 134:8-9
