My first experience with Cambodia was not one that left me wanting more. In fact, I found myself counting down until the days expired for our month of ministry in Cambodia. It was too hard, I carried too much, I couldn’t understand the value of teaching English to children when I had just had to leave girls who were being victimized daily. I remember distinctly the spiritual heaviness of this place; I remember feeling like I was wearing one of the cloaks they cover you with when doing x-rays at the hospital. The heat was overwhelming, the past of this country was overwhelming, my emotions were overwhelming, being present was too much. So, I hid. Most of the time I went to class, ate meals with the team, and spent the rest of the time checked out in my room. I remember distinctly, as night after night we were spiritually attacked, that I said I would NEVER come back to Cambodia. My mind had been made up and I would hear nothing else about it.
Fast forward a few months; God, in His sovereignty, called me back to the race. When I checked out the race route I saw Cambodia and hoped that wouldn’t be one of the countries I would be around for…then as we began to prepare the team leaders for ministry and talked about ministry in Cambodia. I found myself talking excitedly about Fhunkie & Hya, Steve, Soklie, and Roselette, the staff we encountered while we were in Siem Reap. I found myself excited about the possibility of getting to come back. As I prayed about this curious change in attitude God spoke; “You are not where you were two years ago. I have changed so much in your mind and heart and you are ready to see with new eyes. Go, enjoy the beauty of this people that I created, the people that I love. They are so devout, so caring, and most are so forgotten. ”
Fast forward to the present where I find myself in Siem Reap and loving everyday here. I am with Team Spectacle and they have been amazing. I love watching them work together and care for one another. I will go as far as saying they remind me of Awaken (my team on June 07 race), and that is a BIG compliment! I have observed and participated with them in worship times, sat in on a few classes, and watched them lead small groups for the Sunday services held at the base for students.
My favorite part of this month has been the opportunity to take each of the Spectacle ladies out on a “date”. I pick a day to invite one girl out to breakfast or for ice cream. We sit and just share life. As a woman who is just slightly older, and an alumni of the race I get to answer questions and share how amazing God has been in my life. I get to share stories of the people I met as a racer, the faces and stories that touched me, the highs and lows of being on the “front lines”, and about family back home. We talk about how to walk through entrusting God with our families, friends, and finances. We talk about how being wrecked hurts but is SO worth it when He is finished doing whatever it is He is doing. We laugh, we cry, and sometimes we sit in silence. Everyday God reminds me, this is part of what He has called me to. He has called me to pour out, to love, to listen. I love the opportunity to bear the burdens of my sisters, I love hearing about their “babies” at home and watching video or looking at pictures over and over again. I love being able to speak truth into their lives. I love being able to see their faces light up when they see God do something miraculous or they get what they have been struggling to understand. I love these racers. I am blessed to be with them. I am blessed to call them friends, and I am blessed to serve beside them.
I still have a ways to go until I reach my support goal. I still have just over $6,000 US dollars to raise. Please pray about giving to this ministry on my behalf. God’s funds are out there; pray that they will be released for myself and for other racers in need!
