I read a quote recently from Rich Mullins, a musician that I loved and admired for his personal sacrifice to live like Christ. He passed away many years ago but His music still resonates today & his words still ring true in my ears. This is what he had to say:
“Someday we’ll be called to give an account and…I don’t think our crown will be the words we wrote; I think it will be how we have built up the body of Christ, how we have torn down walls of suspicion and walls of fear, how we have shed light on false doctrines, how we’ve been encouraging truth and how that affects lives, and how we made Jesus visible. I’ve never been tempted to write about stuff that I didn’t think would help us, because I do believe someday I will die and there will be a judgement…Jesus talked of judgement as a matter of what we do with our lives: Did we visit those in prison, did we give to the poor? You know I use to think it was for the advantage of the people in jail and for those people who were naked and hungry. Now I think that He asks us to do that not so that they can be saved, but so we can be.”
I have been blessed to go to these places that Rich was speaking of. Going to the marginalized & broken. I have witnessed, in my own family, the pain that prisoners feel and the loss of humanity that comes with their position in life; I have held starving babies & given them all the food I had, only to return 2 years later to find that one of those precious ones had passed away due to malnutrition. I battled through those moments, and more unmentioned questioning my Father, seeking His guidance and understanding. But, I don’t think I ever realized that I was blessed to have had those experiences for how they opened my eyes to what they HE saved me from… Until this past weekend, when God spoke through a precious little ballerina.
My nieces Raegan & Reece, two of my 7 favorite people on the planet, take dance from a Christian ballet company. Their spring recital was held this past weekend. In the spring they put together a worship experience, and that is truly what it was. For me, sitting in the audience, the proud auntie…I wasn’t really looking for the other dancers; until God decided to speak through one certain little girl who caught my eye. One of the little girls in the company has a birth defect that makes walking difficult. This little girl, without major surgery I can imagine, will never be graceful; she will never walk like a “lady” or dance in a major production as a principal dancer. BUT, as I watched her dance with everything that she had (it was more hopping than “dancing”) I was moved more than words. Her face shone with love for her Father. The smile, that stretched from one ear to the other, never left her face. In that moment, of watching her worship our Great, magnificent, merciful Father He spoke to me: “You know Jenny, your legs are crooked like that too. But I am blessed by every offering you bring me. In reality, nothing you do will ever be seen as beautiful; but my dear I can’t think of anything more breathtaking than the offerings you give willingly, from a heart that loves me alone. Do you see how amazing she is? Do you see the light in her eyes, the one that I put there? You have that too. Every one of my precious ones have it; the hungry, the dying, the imprisoned, even those who haven’t found it yet.”
I was reminded in that moment that I am crippled before the Holy One. I am deformed and broken in the flesh. BUT, He has given meaning to my movement; He has added the song to my steps. He is the one who has choreographed it all and no one enjoys watching me step it out more than He. He wants nothing more than my willingness to try & He takes, what to the common eye looks awkward & painful, and turns it into the most beautiful, honor giving, worshipful experience we will ever have. Father thank you for the covering of Jesus. Thank you for taking us through the steps, no matter how painful they may be so that we can shine for You. Thank you for being honored by our worthless offerings, covering them in the blood & making them fit for the King. You are worthy to be praised. May You be blessed, honored, and reverenced by every awkward, uncomfortable…even painful step I take. To God be the Glory forever & ever, AMEN.
