God has been blowing me away with His power lately! Before we left for training camp, I kept hearing the word “power,” so I knew that God was going to reveal new truths about His power. He blew me away at camp, but even more so, He’s continuing to do it now! It’s amazing what He’ll speak into your spirit when you’re willing to listen to what He’s saying!
So, tonight, I spent the evening with a friend of mine just opening up about everything that I’m feeling now that this trip is less than 3 weeks away. Somehow we ended up talking about our testimonies and God’s power to change and ” complete the good work He began in us” (Philippians1:6). Through sharing about my past, my own struggles and my present thoughts, I finally connected some dots that God has very simply layed out before me.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve been a “fixer.” I see problems
(with situations, people, etc…) and I try to fix them. In trying to fix, I control…I control because I have a lack of faith….I have a lack of faith because I think I have more power than God to fix problems.
Clearly, this is a major problem! God is a “fixer”…or according to the thesarus, a “judge”…that word definitely doesn’t describe me…or at least, it shouldn’t (but, it probably does more than I’d like to admit, also…ugh, this is a rough truth-filled night!)
But, anyway…if God’s the “fixer,” what does that make me? A truster, a waiter and a “God-I’m-going-to-place-this-in-your-hands-despite-the-fact-that-I’m-super-DUPER-scared kinda person!
At first, the idea made me really uneasy…letting go of everything I’ve always tried to make right (family, friends, etc…). But suddenly, in the letting go of that control and all of my expectations, I’ve found that much more peace and control. I can’t make everything ok. It’s ultimately not up to me to fix it all. And as much as I try to…I’m taking God’s power and squandering it when He could be doing what needs to be done instead of me.
God’s my “fixer”…my judge. That’s a place I’m stepping down from and giving back to God in a couple very specific places in my life. That makes me open to seeing and experiencing His power in the most fascinating ways! If He’s the fixer…I’m just the vessel to be used by Him.
