doing incredible things. None of them have really been what I
expected…but all have come at the perfect time. At training camp,
several people spoke over me that I needed to let my voice out. I had
always thought that they were speaking of me singing. I didn’t realize
that God had much bigger plans than I could even ask or imagine.
Since leaving the US, I’ve been struggling with who I am…”if my identity
isn’t found in a specific title, do I even have a purpose?” This is a
question that I thought I had answered for myself. Back home, I had a
voice…I knew who I was…and I was confident in who I was…or so I
thought.
But the truth was that I found my identity in being a
Masters student of elementary education, a youth creative arts leader, a
Christian, a server, and a best friend. Not in God…
So God’s been breaking me of all of it. I was all of those things…but that’s not who I am.
I
am someone sent to serve others. My purpose is to listen for God’s
leading and follow. What I do can only be done through Him. He is the
one who enables me to speak, think, act, lead, teach, serve, etc.
Without Him, I am literally nothing. With Him, I’ve seen myself as
something great…but not through Him. Now I realize that I can be with
Him and serve, but if I don’t acknowledge that my identity is found in
Him, then everything I do is in vain and for the purpose of feeling good
about myself.
Talk about tough teaching! Now that I know where
He’s got me, I can admit that I didn’t know who I was. I thought I did.
But He’s breaking me down to know who I am in Him and in His purpose.
It’s
super freeing! I’ve found a freedom on my team that I was afraid to
walk in. I’ve found freedom in worship. I’ve found freedom in doing
things that I’ve never done, yet God is asking me to do. Because my
success is not based on my own standards, my success is based on my
willingness to follow God wherever He’s leading me. And that’s where my
identity is found. That’s where I’ve found my voice.
I hear a voice in this wilderness
Where darkness has reigned for so long
Ground is being taken
A trumpet sounds in Your glory
It touches the ground
And we all stand in awe
His glory far beyond us
Heaven’s battle cry, cries
See the sun lights what was hidden
Heaven’s heartbeat, see it moving
What was a whisper is now
A voice calling out.”
-Bethany Dillon
