Why did I decide to go on the race?
Most my life I have loved Jesus but was too scared to possibly shake my faith by putting it to the test. Aside from evaluating myself to be a person who is more like Him and less like the world, I didn’t ever push past what I could convince myself to be able to achieve on my own. I didn’t venture far and wide to meet new people or tell people about God. I didn’t even push myself in my own community. I kept my people close and very rarely had to let God have them completely to take care of. I took some steps, yes, but for the most part I always made sure I had a safety net if I failed.
I love my God and I have faith in Him so why would I ever challenge it past what I can achieve on my own?
Nabeel Qureshi once spoke at breakaway (Texas A&M University bible study) about how most people in America doubt to trust all the miracles they hear and that God gives us a boldness as His followers that most people never ever accept as their own. We are called to heal and do greater things than HE! It began a new revival in my heart. My God is mighty to save. And I want to know Him in my boldness not in the timidity I have been claiming.
BUT fear.
How can I just flip a switch and stop being timid and start being bold outwardly? Well the word World Race came up shortly after that bible study and it intrigued me to leave behind everything, including the people I hold so close, besides what I can carry on my back and be discipled and do things for THE Kingdom. Abandonment for God, I have never done that! This would fit in the parameters of the Great Commandment! This would be BOLD! I love serving people, I have just been too scared to step out! My heart was saying YES this is where I need to be!
Abandonment: The night before we were leaving the secure place we were staying in with no plan in mind but to trust that God will provide for us, I found out my sister was in the hospital (don’t worry she is fine now). I was mad at God, I knew He could take care of her but I was jealous that I couldn’t be there too. But He gently reminded me that He has her and all my family and me not being there doesn’t mean I am out of their life. I knew He was right but…..HOW GOD? It does not feel like I can do that.
How am I just supposed to forget about the most important people in my life?
He gently reminded me the next morning while we were praying individually for direction from God, that I hadn’t laid my sister at his feet and wasn’t able to be fully invested in Indonesia until I did that. I said ugh BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW LORD! And he said Surrender. I put my hands palm up and He quickly reminded me of that warm fuzzy feeling. The one you get when you give everything to God and you know He is the best protector and provider. That your tight hold on them is nothing compared to his unconditional love, guidance, and sovereignty he offers. Oh how I was out of line before, You’re right, You have them.
Next Boldness: Indonesia has been what Adventures in Missions calls ATL for the Voyaging Daughters. This stands for ask the Lord, which means we have no host or ministry assigned to us. The adventurer in me was about to bust with excitement to live this month out. The reserved person in me was screaming what are you doing Lord!? But I said yes! We got to Indonesia at 12am in the morning with 3 different flights and 24 plus hours of flight time under our belts. As E squad teams dissipated the next day off to their various ministry hosts, Voyaging Daughters stayed. As we began exploring our options, contemplating our current month, figuring out how to get lunch, navigate through a market, or buy sim cards for our team phones. We officially began our Indonesian adventure.
We stayed in our first hostel 3 nights but God had begun to show us that wasn’t where we were supposed to be. The name of a city came up three times and we started seriously considering If this was our next move. We prayed and felt like God was telling us to stop trying to make a perfect plan before we moved.
Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” James 4:15
So, we made a plan to move without figuring out our own provisions. AHHHHH!! Haha. We decided to go to the train station but with no set stop in mind. So, we show up at the train station carrying everything we have for our 11 months. We grabbed the route map for the train and sat us and our extremely space consuming packs down at a KFC in the train station. We sat and prayed individually and God began to move. We agreed on the city but left it open to whether we would be getting off there or somewhere God lead us before the end of the route.
As I sat there learning more about my team through conversation and admiring Holly for speaking so easily to an Indonesian woman on the train, the anticipation of where our heads would lay that night was on the fore front of my mind.
We kept our spirits up and our focus on as we invited God continually into our walk with Him that day individually and collectively. Our stop was next so we put our big packs back on ready to get off the train expectant for the Lord to move!
Guess what we found at the train station in the city we got off the train at?
A KFC!
We made our walk- no trek to KFC because going anywhere with my 45 pound hiking pack and 15 pound book bag is hard. In KFC we got lunch and shortly decided to do a listening prayer walk.
Three people would stay at KFC and watch our things and three would go venture out into this new foreign city and then we would switch. Personally, I was feeling nauseous and light headed so I asked to go out with the second group of three after the first three came back from their walk. But then all the sudden I had a strong desire to go out with the first group. But whatever, I will go in the second group. Then Megan (our amazing Squad Leader assigned with us this month) all the sudden said she was feeling bad and wanted to know if someone could step into her place in the first group of three. Okay I see you God, I quickly grabbed the spot.
In a few seconds I was off with Chelsea and Erin to explore this new city and see what we could find for ministry or housing. We prayed in that KFC and took off. Right said Erin and Chelsea, I followed. Chelsea found a coin on the ground we continued in the same direction. Erin spotted a cross on the top of a building so we headed that way to find the church having service, I felt God prompting me to walk into the service even though service had already started and we were dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, but before I could make excuses with God, Erin took off into the church and I followed. We took communion with them and waited to see who we could talk to at the end of the service that could speak English. On the steps of the church entrance we waited for God to bring us someone.
He did.
She asked if we wanted to come to a bible study in march and we said we won’t be here in march but we were wondering if we could serve in this church and help. And she asked the church administration on our behalf and then pointed us in the direction of another church. Luke 12:29 in fact was inscribed on the church sign as we passed into the driveway and there was a painting of a flock of sheep and the almighty Shepard. It was beautiful metaphorically God leading us (His flock) exactly where we needed to be.
As we met people and they directed us to another person who spoke a little more English and then directed us to another person that could speak more English until we ended up in a Sunday brunch with a family of the church celebrating a birthday. They invited us in and wanted to know why we were here and who we are. We began meeting more and more people and ate and talked with them about how we wanted to serve and help in their church. They asked if we had a place to stay and we said no not yet. They wondered when we got to the city and we told them this morning. They were shocked as they pressed further into our experience and how prayer brought us here. They asked what we believed and I was just in awe at how Erin’s 2-minute story of our beliefs and how we prayed and ended up here, started to unify us and break down barriers.
We were brothers and sisters without even knowing each other.
They began to tell us about the guesthouse they have and they asked for more verification of who we were and the elders and leaders began to speak of whether they would let us stay at the church guest house. At 4:30 we went to church service still unsure of whether we had a place to stay tonight.
After the service they came and told us that we could stay in their guesthouse and talked about getting a schedule together for our ministry.
God is good! Leaving the hostel at 7 AM and God giving us a place to stay by nightfall was amazing and such and encouragement in all of us.
With Romans 1:16 around my neck on the key they gave me at launch in Georgia, God is constantly showing me that He has got me and that I don’t need to be scared to take chances and be bolder in my faith.
God’s power of salvation is stronger than anything else I have seen.
TTFN,
Jenny
