After a 4 hour bus ride Team Overcome and Team Jayu Warriors made it to the village of Mae Ai. Emmi’s (the owner and founder of Zion Cafe and Lighthouse In Action ministry) father lives in this village.
We stayed with the local people there. And we did what they did. We had rice, veggies and chicken wings for breakfast and went out to work in the rice field. It was a very muddy experience, but I really enjoyed feeling the cool mud between my toes and fingers. Bucket showers and squatty potty are the thing there. And Thai people are all about cleanliness, so we were told we must shower at LEAST once a day. After a lunch of rice and something else to go with it, we have what my team calls, “Team Time.” Then we’ll either rest, or walk into town, or go Thai dancing with our host mom. 🙂 We also did prayer walk and swept the streets. When the kids got out of school we’d play with them. Then we would have rice (and something to go with it) for supper and then we would just hang out, worship or go to bed early.
The village is absolutely beautiful!!! Went for a sunrise run one morning and was in awe of God’s beauty.
God has continued to blow my mind with His goodness and love. He has been showing/telling me who He is and removing what I think of Him as.
On Sunday and Monday (we traveled to the village on Monday) I was feeling pulled down. I wasn’t really focused and felt like I was staring at a wall and couldn’t move. I talked to one of my teammates about it and after a long talk she told me that I wasn’t getting enough time for myself. I’m an introvert and I was burnt out. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was trying to be involved as much as I could, but I needed to step back and “check out.” So I started retreating to myself whenever possible and just spent time with God, alone. God was showing me that I had some things on my heart that I didn’t realized were affecting me as much as it was.
One was that I was waiting for the “Ok, God, I got this now. Thanks for showing me this. I can take it from here” feeling. I was waiting to feel settled, comfortable and for my life to be a nice smooth ride. But I didn’t have that. I felt like I was still on this crazy ride to who knows where. And that I had no control.
Let me back up a bit.
Tuesday afternoon, I had this vision of a small stream. Like the ones we worked on in the rice field. The water was flowing smoothly through with a small fall. The stream was representing my life. Then I saw something in the water that was causing a ripple in the smooth surface. The water was still flowing freely though. I thought what is causing that hindrance? So I reached down and picked it up. It was a rock, which represented love. I didn’t understand it. I thought “God, love isn’t supposed to be a hindrance. Love isn’t supposed to mess things up. What does this mean?”
Later as I was journaling about this, God revealed to me what the vision meant.
God’s love.
His love is so powerful that it affects the way I think, move, talk and hear. His love is so powerful that it affects the way I live. His love is so powerful that it changes me, it grows me, it gives me new perspectives, and it shows me who God is.
His love is so powerful that it causes ripples in my smooth flowing life.
That rock wasn’t causing a hindrance in the flow of life at all. It’s simply changing the way the water flows.
God showed me that we often think that God’s life changing love is a hindrance in life, because it messes up our smooth flow. So we remove it.
I realized that I have been removing and replacing that rock whenever it’s convenient for me. When I remove the rock I feel settled and in control. Everything is flowing smoothly. And “I got this.” But when I need God again, I simply put the rock back and let Him work on me, let Him change me. And when I had enough of the rippling effect of it, I remove it again.
But ever since I threw my hearing aids in the lake almost a month ago, I haven’t removed that rock. I haven’t removed His love, because I knew (without fully knowing till now) that His love was all I had left. God had stripped me of everything I once held on so tightly too and simply left me with His love. And that’s all I ever need. And it’s been a crazy ride for me. His love is constant. His love is constantly changing and growing me. His love is constantly showing me who God is. His love is constantly causing a ripple in my life. And that’s the way I want it.
I don’t want to feel normal again. I don’t want to feel in control and able to handle things myself. I sometimes think I do. But deep down I know that I want more of His love. I was waiting for that settled feeling because I thought that this constant rippling wasn’t normal. I thought that I should be worried about this change in the flow that isn’t returning to the way it once was. But I’m done waiting for that smooth ride.
God’s love is so powerful, guys.
The Bible is filled with proof of it!!! Not just the gospel, but throughout all of the Bible and history. You can see the life changing effect that God’s love has!!! Take a second and look back on your life. How has God’s love changed you?
His powerful love has changed the way I live. It has changed the flow of my life and I can’t wait to see how His constant love will continue to grow and change me.
Let the crazy ride continue!
Prayer requests-
For travel to Cambodia (we leave on the 31st) and the ministries to the people there. That God’s light and love would shine through.
For the squad, that we would be rested and healthy. And that Jesus would be evident and clearly seen in us.
That I would have patience and faith and that I would continue to grow.
For funding- I’m halfway to 100%. I need to have $11,000 in my account by April 1st and $16,242 by the end of June.
