Even as his organs were being pulled from his still breathing body, as the crowds gathered to ridicule and mock him, as the desperate truth began to sink in, William Wallace used his last breathe to proclaim what he was most passionate about, to remind onlookers what he was willing to live and die for.
FREEDOM!
It's one thing all of mankind is willing to fight for, makes concessions for, or at the very least longs for. I am no different. I was expressing the longing of my heart just the other day, wishing to be free when a friend asked, "What would that look like, you, being free?" I responded by saying this," Freedom looks like me, with the sun shining through my hair, highlighting the expression of pure joy on my face as I run barefoot, with my hands in the air through a field of grass and wild flowers, uninhibited, unafraid, at perfect peace with all that is." I just want to live. I want to be free from worry about the future, free from unrealistic expectations that I or the world place on me, free from the heavy burdens of making all the right choices and doing all the right things at all the right times, free of the emotional baggage that infiltrates my life.
FREEDOM . . . I just wanna be free, and I'm ready to jump.
5. 4. 3. 2. 1. It all happened so fast – when I suddenly came to my senses, there I was, 700 feet up in the air, free-falling toward the ground. I was literally falling. I think it must be difficult for the human brain to comprehend a fall like this because it is fully aware of the state in which it finds itself, yet it isn't afraid (at least mine wasn't) because it knows it will eventually stop falling. . . BEFORE it hits the ground. I never even considered hitting the ground. I'll tell you what I remember . . .
I was standing on the platform getting ready to experience the highest bungee jump in the world. Yeah, go big or go home folks. So there I was with my feet tied together, asking to make sure the cords were fastened tightly enough so I wouldn't fall out. I hopped to the edge, then 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Bungee! They told us if we didn't jump, they'd push. So, you can bet your last penny, I jumped. I did the most beautiful swan dive I could muster from 700 feet up above the rocky mountains, meandering red river, and beautiful Indian Ocean. All I know is second number one was a blur. Seconds 2 and 3 were an awkward realization of the fact that i was indeed falling quickly toward the earth, but I didn't want to miss a single second of the experience. The rest was the most beautiful dive of freedom I have ever experienced. As I continued floating through the air the world around me seemed to become silent as if the thrill ride came with noise-canceling headphones. My other senses heightened quickly as the wind swept gently past my face, through my hair, rippling my clothes, and tickling my toes. I became acutely aware of the fact that I may very well NEVER be in this position again and I wanted to make sure I took mental snapshots of everything I was seeing and experiencing. I stopped in mid air to breathe in the beauty all around me – the green of the trees, shrubs, and other plants and grass, the gray and brown of the rocks jutting out of the mountains, the blue-green ocean and white waves, the reddish-brown river, and the pure azure blue sky. It was beautiful, amazing, breath taking, truly AWE-some, and I was flying through it. I put my hands to my mouth and blew a kiss out to God and His creation, realizing at that moment what a truly amazing gift it is.
After the initial fall I bounced back up and down a few times before slowing down, and eventually coming to a halt. I remember hanging there, just hanging out there in the middle of the sky trying desperately to take it all in. As I was basking in the glory of my surroundings it took a moment for the voice to register. "Hello," he said from 100 feet (or so) away. All I could think was, "Oh no, not yet. Please let me hang just a little longer." (I have to admit, the falling created much more freedom than the hanging. It almost felt like my feet would slip out of the harness if I hung for too long. But i was assured that was not the case, so in an effort to test the word of my trainer I refused to flex my feet for extra support. I kept my toes pointed the entire time.) This man's job was to hoist himself up and down on a swing all day "rescuing" people from hanging in mid air by their feet. "Welcome to my beautiful office," he said as he attached the safety rope to my harness. "Yeah, you've got the most beautiful office in the world," I responded as he reeled me back up to the top of the bridge.
Once I got my feet back under me I ran and jumped into the arms of the first person I saw – my team leader, Dusty. I'm not sure he knew quite what to do with me. I just felt so free. That's the feeling I've been searching for. I can see why extreme sports are so addicting. That feeling of euphoria is tantalizing. It calls to you, beckoning you to continue seeking it out. While it may never be satisfied, I am. I am happy to know that I jumped off the highest bungee jump in the world, I experienced freedom, I kept my toes pointed, and I lived to tell about it.
