Tired of fighting a battle for freedom and independence he knew he could not win, Chief Joseph, of the Nez Perce Tribe conceded, "I will fight no more forever." From the beginning of the Race I too, have been fighting a battle for freedom. I have rallied all my strength and energy to fight for freedom from a deeply seeded desire for control that invades and sabotages my relationships. I have waged war against a fear of being rejected and alone that snatches my confidence as plunder and leaves me ripped open and vulnerable. I have initiated an attack on the overwhelming oppression that pervades my heart and soul and leaves me in a state of despondency.
Like Chief Joseph and his warriors, I have fought with valor and determination. I have contributed blood, sweat, and tears to the battle. But my strength has failed, and my determination dwindled. With great sorrow I conceded this was a battle I could not win.
As I surrendered, I heard a voice from behind enemy lines shouting, “Retreat! Retreat! She has already won!” I sat in bewilderment, pondering how I could have possibly been victorious when I had just abandoned the fight. At that moment I heard another voice. This voice was clear and confident.
As the great warrior spoke to me, He said, “Jenn, don’t you understand? This battle is not against flesh and blood. This is a conflict in the spiritual world. You are not fighting against those who have rejected you or your ideas. You are fighting against a spirit of rejection that seeks to hold you captive and keep your love from penetrating the world. You are not competing against someone who makes you angry. You are challenging a spirit of control that seeks to make you defensive and imprison your compassion.”
“But I am not equipped to fight this kind of battle,” I responded. “No, you are not, which is why you can not win. And that is precisely why I have fought the battle for you. I have already won. You are already victorious. These enemies have no control over you unless you choose to give it to them. You need only to walk in the freedom that my victory affords you.”
Ahhhhhh, I can’t tell you what an amazing sense of peace and freedom that brought me. From that moment forward, every time I felt myself becoming angry or annoyed with someone (or any other negativity) I stopped in my tracks and said to myself, “Jenn, this battle is not flesh and blood. You don’t need to be angry with him. This is a spirit of control trying to keep you from freedom. But the battle is already won. You are already free. Walk in that freedom.”
Almost immediately my outlook would change. My anger (etc.) subsided; I smiled, and moved on with my activities knowing that I was free. From now on I will claim the words of Chief Joseph, “From where the sun now stands, I will fight nor more forever,” for my battle is already won. Christ has fought on my behalf and claimed the victory. I will choose to walk in the freedom he has attained.
Old Castle in Vidin, Bulgaria
The Castle at Sunset
Roma Girl from the Village
Me Painting in the Orphanage
"Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
"Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.
"And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints…." Ephesians 6:10-18
