That place where there are so many different emotions going on inside of you that you have all the words you want to say yet no words that can accurately describe any of it. This is exactly where I am at. One minute I feel completely at ease and the next I feel totally overwhelmed. This is due to one, big, scary, and completely necessary word. Transition.
Every aspect of my life seems to be transitioning at the same time. Relationships ending, my career winding down and all that entails, moving out of my loft (which I LOVE), saying goodbye to someone whom I’m accustomed to speaking with every day, and gearing up for a very new chapter in my life.
We are resistant to change. We fight against that which removes us from our comfort zone. This is an extremely uncomfortable place where God has me right now. He has taken every aspect of my life and thrown it in a blender…and He is gradually turning the speed up.
This past Sunday my phenomenal senior pastor gave his annual Bellwether Address. At the beginning of every year Pastor John Hershman lays out the direction that our church will take in the coming year but this year is going to be unlike any most of us have ever experienced at West End Assembly of God. After 23 years in his position Pastor John is retiring; therefore our church is going and will continue to go through a period of transition. During the address he highlighted one of Jesus’ final discussions with his disciples.
“All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe.” John 14:25-29
We are all very familiar with this conversation; however, that morning was the first time I have ever stopped to consider how this news truly made Jesus’ disciples/brothers feel. Of course they understood the reason Jesus had to go but I cannot help but think about the pain the disciples must have had to process through because they were losing their brother. It’s obvious my emotions regarding goodbyes are pretty close to the surface right now. We are human beings. We crave communion with our brothers and sisters. We crave physical interaction and fellowship. To be told that someone whom you view as a brother is leaving and to experience that separation is a painful transition.
Pastor John said something else that struck me deeply. He said that God often uses times of transition to do His best work. Following that conversation with the disciples Jesus died on the cross, bearing the weight of the world’s sins, and ascended to heaven to take his rightful seat next to the Father. It took a massive time of transition in order for God to complete His perfect plan.
I, of course, thought about my own life and what God is trying to do with me. I have no doubt that this time of transition God has me in is being thrust upon me so that I focus on Him, I run to Him, I find solace in Him. He wants me to want Him to be in control of that blender I mentioned above. He wants me to stop trying to push Him out of the way so that I can turn the blender down and just be still and wait for Him to decide when the speed will decrease.
Still, there’s so much beauty in all of this craziness because I have faith that the Lord loves and adores me and has my best interest at heart.
Romans 8:28 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Much of this transition in my life is due to the path the Father has chosen for me. The World Race is my next step, it’s His purpose for my life, He has called me and I have listened. Don’t get me wrong. I am human and I am not saying that any of this is easy. I was tearing up during the address at church. I remember thinking “God, this is TOO much transition. I cannot bear any more. Please, just let me keep something that is familiar.”
However, we were never promised an easy life as a follower of Jesus. In fact, it’s the complete opposite:
Matthew 16:24-25 says “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”
Yet, no matter how hard it gets and how much the enemy tries to tell me that things seem to be spinning out of control I know different.
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” Isaiah 40:28
Things are not spinning out of control. God is in complete control and while I will feel weary at times He will not grow weary. All that He asks of me is that I run to him during this time of transition. I am watching the Lord strip me of everything He deems hurtful, wasteful, distracting, and counterproductive to what He needs to do with me prior to the Race. No matter how painful this period of transition becomes I will stand firm knowing that this is all for His Glory. That is the most humbling part of all.
Therefore, I say “Here I am, God. Do what You need to do so that come September I am prepared to go unto the nations.” After all, if we, as followers of Christ, are not willing to allow the Father to mold us into the very best that we can be for Him, His Son, and His perfect plan for our lives, then what other purpose do we have on this earth?
