August 4th.
I felt a rush of emotions I have never felt before. I said goodbye to my family and friends for nine months. All morning my stomach sat upside down inside me. My heart was beating through my chest. At the airport I cried and quickly pulled myself together. I felt like I had to be strong, not only for myself but for the people around me. I wanted to seem like I was fine, that it wasn’t hard to leave behind the people I love. I went to Launch in Atlanta, excited to see the faces of the people I was missing since training camp. We reconnected and it was a great feeling being with everyone again. Monday, August 8th, I packed all my things from the hotel and headed to the airport. I sat at the airport for about 13 hours, anxiously waiting for my first flight to Turkey. I FaceTimed my family and friends, telling them how I was doing and how much I love them and miss them. For a little bit it felt easy leaving home, leaving everyone behind. I felt strong and in control. My adrenaline was going, I was starting a new season of life that was so new to me. I was excited and drained from the hours spent at the airport and on the planes. Once we landed in Tirana from Istanbul, it felt surreal. I was actually here, in Albania, on The World Race.
I said to those around me, “I thought this day would never come and now we’re finally here.”.
We got to our compound, about an hour away from Tirana, where we met George and he talked with us for a few minutes. Then we went to our assigned rooms and slept like rocks through the night. When I woke up in the morning my life felt like a dream. It still didn’t seem real that I was in Lezhë. This feeling carried on for a few days.
Then, like waves, it started to hit me. It hit me that I was no longer in Texas, no longer in the comfort of my home, no longer a few minutes away from my loved ones. I started to feel broken. It felt like God had left me here alone in a foreign country. I felt myself shutting down and feeling distant to those around me. In a quiet time I had one day, God revealed to me past wounds that were not healed. Wounds that I tried to escape but couldn’t and that I tried to fix myself but knew only God could heal me. One night during team time it was my turn to share my testimony. I was vulnerable with my team. They sat, listened to me and were there for me. God told me that he would heal my heart, He would take away my pain and break my chains. All I have to do is surrender every part of myself to Him, fully allow Him to take up all the space in my heart. Sometimes we don’t let God come and occupy certain places in our heart because we don’t want to fully surrender to Him and that was exactly was I was doing. Fully giving everything to God and leaning on Him and putting every amount of trust in Him can be scary.
But God is faithful. He is good and just. He makes my paths straight and puts rest to my soul. God can overcome all, He has already won the victory over my life and that is what I hold on to. I hold on to the promises from God that He has made to me.
He has redeemed me.
Living in Lezhë for the past two weeks have been amazing. George owns a kids camp and a small farm where pigs, goats, sheep, dogs, chicken, and even a duck reside. We’ve done manual labor preparing the compound for the kids camps coming up. We’ve lime washed walls, unloaded hay bales, shoveled goat poop, and served George in whatever he needed done.
You are able to serve God in many ways. Whatever it may look like, God is pleased and I believe he is pleased with my squad and I. Serving alongside my squad has been amazing these past two weeks. Today the other six teams left the compound to go to their ministry site. My team will be staying here at Light Force with George. Living in community is a beautiful thing yet it has its challenges. I love my team and can’t wait to do live with them for these next nine months.
Thank you to those who have supported me, whether it was emotionally or financially. I couldn’t have gotten this far without y’all. I still have about $3,000 left to be fully funded by November. Help me reach my goal before then, whatever amount that is placed on your heart. Thank you again to all my family and friends back home. I love each and everyone of you.
