So here I am in the middle of wrapping things up and yet preparing to leave. And I wonder where I am. Am I coming or going? Am I letting go or grabbing on? I look around and it feels as though the world is just moving around me and I am in the in between…not here or there. It is a strange feeling. All that I once used to define me seems so far removed.
And yet God transcends it all. HE is EVERLASTING!
I feel out of place, as a stranger who has so much to learn about life, what it truly means to live only in HIM. At the moment, I’m not trying to grasp on to something that will make me look good in the eyes of others, as I have done for years, but learning about grace in the heart of God. I need to feel this disconnection. For I am only beginning to understand that God doesn’t operate within the confines of this world…that HE is much bigger. He isn’t JUST found in the past or JUST an object of the future to finally grasp, but is ALIVE in the present as well as the Past and the Future.
Do I truly understand all of that and what that means? No. Can my limited mind, broken heart, and weak self completely comprehend the magnitude and greatness of God? No. But I desire to know HIM. I desire to feel more. I desire to love more. I desire to LIVE. At the moment I am separated, yet drawing closer to HIM.
I’ve been reading Nehemiah lately, and chapter 9 verse 5 really struck me. It states, “…Stand up and praise the LORD your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting (or God for ever and ever). Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise.”
As LIFE seems to contradict life, may God be seen above all and praised above all. For He is ALIVE in the PAST, the PRESENT, the FUTURE and IN BETWEEN!
