I find myself in constant prayer!
Since the release of the constraints on my heart, there has been an intense flood of emotions and sensitivity. I am a relational person, but this is more than I have ever experienced. It is as if a dam that used to protect and control my heart has been completely stripped away allowing stronger emotions and connections to take place. As freeing as all this sounds, it has been a bit overwhelming.
There are moments where I will see someone and my heart will cry out to them, will hurt for them, and I don’t even know their story. Other times, by just passing by someone, I will experience immense joy that my heart literally beats faster and faster and I need to take a deep breath. I long to hear the heart of others, even strangers, and rest is hard to come by.
There are moments I seek to escape, to be connected only with God to find that peace in the middle of it all. It is hard. It hurts at times. And yet, I yearn for more. I don’t understand it all, but I know I need to feel this, and only God can keep me from trying to harness and control it. For I am weak. But I am not alone. He is my strength, my rest, my peace.
He is working in me. And if it is through a flood, then let it rage!
I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
