As I sit here writing, I can hear the sleet hitting the window.  The ice that covers everything and looks so beautiful desperately wants to freeze moments that are so hard for me to let go of. 

It is winter here in Indiana. 

 
But there is more to this season in life.  I find myself waking up in the early morning with a particular event or person heavy on my heart.  I can see all the details and feel all the emotions that surround these thoughts.  And for a brief moment my heart wants to freeze this time, to keep things the same, to hold on just a little longer. But each time, God asks for it. It is as if HE is pulling out, one by one, all that I am still holding onto…and is asking for it.  It is there in my mind, frozen, never changing, for me to literally let go of and release into HIS care, to release to HIM so that change and growth can take place.

 
When reading Nehemiah 2:2-3, I froze on the simple word “but”. Here, he was afraid, but he continued obeying what God called him to do. I’ll be honest; this made me question my actions during these moments of surrender. Am I fighting it? Or do I trust God? 


This is more than just leaving for 11 months and returning to the same old life.  It isn’t about freezing time just to return to business as usual.  This is transformation.  This is working for HIM.  This is being a servant.  This is trusting HIM with it all, with all of me, with all His children, and praising HIM for hearts reached and lives changed.

So in this moment, I strive to find rest in HIM, to appreciate life as it is and as it changes, to value relationships and how they change. And I celebrate the blessing of HIS love, where freedom is found in surrendering.