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I just recently read a blog with an update from a current World Racer, Matthew Snyder, about Tears of Expression and it was a much needed reminder of strength found in vulnerability.  God shares and teaches us so much as we begin to fully trust in Him, when we are open to Him, and it is so important to remember those lessons. Therefore, I share this with you, not only because it is on my mind, but because it is a part of me.  May you feel the strength of God which is experienced in complete vulnerability to Him and His work in your life.  May you be exposed!
 
Vulnerability is where strength is found

1 Samuel 20:41

After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together-but David wept the most.

 

Be strong. These two words ran through my thoughts for as long as I could remember. To succeed in life I must be strong. I spent years trying to hide my weaknesses, blocking my emotions, and trying to find the strength within myself. And it was completely draining. It actually became the factor I used to determine my self worth, and I could never seem to measure up. Fear of rejection, of course, was at the heart of it. Ironically, to protect my heart, I ended up rejecting myself!

I remember waking up one morning, September 9, 2005 to be exact. It was 4:15 a.m. and I found myself unable to go back to sleep. I began reading 1 Samuel. I read how Jonathon and David wept together. And over and over again I read that verse. The friendship between these two caught my attention. The openness and love they shared was strong. And together they wept. 

I turned and looked in the mirror, just concentrating on the power of the word “wept”. I did not recognize the reflection in the mirror. I had spent the past years of my life always trying to be better, to be strong, to be worthy, to be worthy of something, and getting lost in the actions.   I did not recognize myself.

I wept. 

I opened up and for a moment I saw all I had been ashamed of and had been hiding. I opened up and for a moment, through the tears, I saw all my weaknesses. For a moment, I saw all of me. 

I was vulnerable.

And it was one of the hardest moments of my life. To be entirely exposed, to be completely vulnerable took more strength than I had. But God provided the rest. It was at the moment that I became vulnerable, that God could show me true strength, the strength that only comes from Him. I believe strength is found in vulnerability, not in one’s self and the elimination of all weaknesses. It is being open to God and His use of my weakness, His transforming power and love.