This morning we had a time of prayer with a group of Romanian believers that we will be working alongside for the next 10 days or so. We all stood around a long wooden table for about half an hour, about 12 of us and maybe 15 of them. We came here yesterday and were told we will be spreading the word about a concert the church is having, putting on and outreach program and doing some door to door ministry in the process. I am humbled by them. They started praying fervently and it happened just like that, the Holy Spirit was present. While they were praying I was wondering why their prayers sounded so different than ours, longer, louder, more passionate, their voices sounded desperate. I wondered if it was a difference in phonetics, I wondered why it felt so alive this morning. I do not think that it is a difference in language or culture. I think it is just the presence of Jesus. I felt the Lord impressing this thought on me, “they get it Jennifer, they get that I’m Holy.” They are desperate, they are excited to go out into the streets of their city and invite people to come and hear the gospel, they care, the Lord has taken control of their hearts and it is obvious. Doing things right is making less sense to me. Being in control is looking more like bondage than freedom.
I have been thinking about this verse; “Whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses His life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. Luke 9:24. I’ve wondered what it looks like to lose my life for His sake for a while now. I think it has something to do with giving up control, control of how and when and where , and saying no to the fear and doubt that try to direct my path. I wrote this verse from Hebrews down because it resonated with me but I didn’t know why at the time; “By faith, Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God rather than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward. Hebrews 11:24-25. I think that losing my life for the sake of Christ has something to do with considering any and every thing that Jesus is to be better that the treasures of this present world.
