Ever feel like your Gut is going to Burst?
I must confess.
I know God wants to speak through me, but I have held in words He has put on my lips.
In hopes another will speak up.
Not me Lord I say, not NOW. I am not ready to go there, anywhere, but there.
The Lord has said to me,
Now is the Time!! Rise up, to the place I have brought you. You are a child of God. Speak in the authority I have given you. Be humble before others, as you are humble before me.
I feel a fire rising up inside me. I CANNOT hold back from God. He is burning me up with His refining fire. Everything with in me is flipped inside out. I feel naked and vulnerable. Weak and Fragile.
Lord you want to break
me
again?
My life is no longer my own. I am a new creation in Christ Jesus, the old self is gone. To fully leave the old self, the old self must be fully known. I feel like my old self is scattered all over like a broken puzzle with billions of pieces. Pieces lay everywhere. The Lord has brought more pieces to the table to burn. Some pieces were hiding in deep dark dusty spaces; pushed so deep, forgotten about and left they’re to stay. I cling to some pieces for identity.
The Lord says your new identity is in me let go of your old self.
I stood vulnerable with others ready for judgement feeling ALONE. I know the Lord has redeemed me and has purified me and washed me clean of all my sins. I thought, Lord you want me to confess my sins to others too? Is it not enough that I confess to you? That is too vulnerable…… What if they reject me? Judge me? What if I am the only one?
The Lord said to me, You have been redeemed, I love you! Do not fear. I have lifted you out of the pit. Walk in the truth and freedom that I have given you. You are not alone, for I am with you.
The truth is I have struggled most of my life to feel loved. Accepted. That need drove me to search for Love in all the wrong places. The devil got a stronghold in my life through my sin of impurity. It started small and grew into an addiction to need to be loved. I felt empty, alone, lost and unworthy. The devil was winning in my life. He came to destroy and kill. He was killing me. I believed his lies. You will never be loved, you are not beautiful, why would God love you, guilt and shame flooded my thoughts. I tried to earn Love. Working at being loveable. Maybe if I am really nice I will be loved? If I do what others want me to do? If I don’t burden others with my needs? Then I will be loved?
The Lord has and is washing me in His Love. I cannot earn love by being better or doing better. I have been given unconditional love. So have YOU! You are beautiful! You are loved by God so much that He gave His one and only Son as a sacrifice for Our sins (every single sin) Do not believe the lie that your sin can not be forgiven.
I am cleansed and freedom in Christ reigns in my life. I am living in truth.
The lies do not control me anymore.
The Lord turns Pain in the gut to Joy in the heart!!
