The other day I had to sit down with a friend and reveal a deep wound in my life…and it wasn’t so much that I had to, but more that I needed to. For the past month I have been processing this wound more because it had started to manifest in my actions in a very ugly way- towards those I love the most. This wound goes very far back in to my past and very deep in to my most vulnerable insecurities, and to share it with someone scared me to death. But I knew that I had to drag it out of the darkest corner of my heart where I don’t have to deal with it, and bring in to the light of grace and forgiveness…
This morning I read a chapter in the book The Rabbi’s Heartbeat about this very thing. It was so encouraging because I felt like the Lord confirmed that what I had done by telling my friend about this very sensitive area of my life was exactly what was needed to heal.
Manning says, “In the futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds, out of fear or shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become light for others. Grace and healing are communicated through the vulnerability of men and women who have been fractured and heartbroken by life”.
I feel like there are two things that can turn debilitating wounds into powerful ones: the first is not only acknowledging them, but also to accept them. It seems that out of vain deception, we don’t even let ourselves see our wounds. The minute we realize that life is hard and leaves us with battle scars, we can then move forward despite the bruises. Second, when we begin to let those wounds be visible to others, then in our weakest moments we strengthen our brothers and sisters. People don’t want to be comforted by someone who has it all together…they want to know that some one else gets it. In 2 Cor.12:9 Paul reminds us of the Lord’s encouragement, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”.
I am learning this lesson slowly but surely. My friend pretty much had to drag this out of me, but my words were met with understanding…my worries and fears were met with grace and love…and a relationship was strengthen, even in my most vulnerable moment.
