At this point in my life (that is, at the end of the World Race and the beginning of the next season), I don’t know what I’m doing next.
There, I said it.
I literally have no idea, and that’s okay.
I am at a point in my life where I have the amazing opportunity to choose among many options, whether that is to start over, go back to school, move to a new city, begin a career, go back overseas, do a post-World Race project, or… to simply wait.
In our culture, it’s rather frowned upon to be doing nothing. When people ask me, “What are you doing?” whether it’s being asked of in the moment “right now” or more of “with the rest of your life”, people expect me to have an answer. After all, God must have showed me some amazing things I could do this last year, right?
This isn’t the first season of waiting I’ve encountered with God. And every time another season of waiting comes along, I learn so much more than the one before it.
You see, spiritual “waiting” doesn’t mean being spiritually complacent. It doesn’t mean that I just sit back and wait for God to show me what’s next.
I am reminded time and time again that it’s okay if my schedule isn’t full, and it’s even okay if I don’t know what’s next.
You see, control has been a big struggle for me for years. I am a planner by nature, and constantly feel the need to have a plan (and a backup plan) and a full schedule all. the. time.
But at Project Searchlight (PSL), God continues to confirm with me that just because He’s silent doesn’t mean He’s not right here with me (quote by Niel Bruisma).
God gives us the opportunity to make our own decisions. And I’m forced to ask myself how am I stewarding the time He gives me in periods of waiting?
God wants us actively seeking Him in every situation in every season of life. In times of waiting, we should continually be seeking where He is working around us, not waiting for the awesome thing He’ll do next.
At PSL this week, Ashlin Horne gave us the picture of God being the car of our lives. If we aren’t putting anything into the car (or our relationship with the Lord), it’s not going to go anywhere.
Ashlin also reminded us that Jesus did 30 years of spiritual training and preparations for only 3 years of intense ministry. You can bet your bottom dollar He went through times of spiritual waiting.
I can’t expect to get to a deep spiritual place with God and let Him do amazing things from me unless I steward the little things He’s given me well.
So what are my options in spiritual waiting?
As Niel stated in his session, I can either continue to wait on a word from the Lord, while seeking Him even if there’s silence.
Or I can make a decision to do something and trust that He makes all things work for our good and His glory.
So, when I say that there’s nothing on my plate next, it’s because I want to embrace this beautiful time of waiting with the Lord. I want to reflect on where He has brought me, share that truth with others, and trust that He’s working even when I’m just pursuing Him.
