I realized that I have been living by sight rather than faith.
I’ve asked God for people to show me that they love me and for Him to show me how He loves me. I’ve asked for miracles so I can see Him working. And I’ve realized even when He grants these “wishes”, I’m never satisfied.
When I see miracles I think it’s cool for a bit, but then go back to wanting more. But Scripture tells us to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). I am learning to go from head knowledge to heart knowledge. I want to learn to love with my heart rather than loving with my head.
That’s where loving the unlovable comes in. I’ve asked God to show me my teammates in the way that He sees them. And now I’m asking Him to allow me to love them like He loves them. That’s where walking by faith comes in; I need to love my teammates (and people in general) the way God loves them, because it doesn’t always make logical sense to love them otherwise.
So, I made it my mission to seek out my teammates, to meet them where they are, and invest time with them. It’s crazy to think that you live day in and day out with people and there’s still more to know about them! Our team leader, Karly, initiated intentionality with each other by putting all our names on slips of paper and drawing names of a team member to meet one-on-one with for that week. Ahh, God works in crazy awesome ways!
I also began making a list of verses that sparked my interest to come back to later. Little did I know that list would be never ending, thus always giving me a place to begin my quiet times. In Month 2, Nicaragua, our host Lauren taught us girls how to dive deeper into Scripture. It has helped so much in looking at Scripture in a more intimate way. I now leave my quiet times wishing I had more time and looking forward to coming back to it later.
In short, the World Race is not all butterflies and rainbows. It has its ups and downs that life brings. And even though I have answers to the things I was going through, I still have to be intentional with them.
Since my freedom, I have seen the little ways that the enemy still sneaks into my thoughts. I have to continue to address and rebuke them as they come, rather than brushing them off and letting them build up inside. Scripture tells us that if we resist the devil, he will flee from you (James 4:7).
I realize this isn’t just a one-time decision of living by faith. I will have to work at being intentional with my relationship with the Lord in order to maintain it. I am continually learning to live by faith, and not by sight.
