These past four months of the World Race have been quite different than what I’m used to, both physically and spiritually. I wanted to take some time to elaborate on the Spiritual aspect of things.
The beginning of this month was rough for me. I haven’t felt myself since I left, and I didn’t know why. I had a lot of frustration built up that I didn’t know how to communicate or fix. The little things would make or break my days. I was bitter, and I was absent. I wasn’t present with my team or with our ministries, and I didn’t really look forward to my quite times.
But I have been looking forward to visiting Chile one day for years now, and when we finally arrived, it was nothing like I expected it to be. It was normal. It didn’t feel different or hurting or needy. There were normal people living in normal houses eating normal food (for the most part) who had normal cars, and there were normal busses and normal dogs and cats.
I was with my same team that I’ve been with the previous three months, and it seemed like there was nothing new here. In other words, I was let down. I had built up all these expectations of awesome experiences I would have and how cool life would be on the field.
You would think that being on an eleven-month spiritual journey would allow ample time to allow God to pour into me; that I would be on a continuous mountain-top experience with God. But frankly, that’s not the case. I’m still struggling to carve out time to have a daily spiritual encounter with God. I want to sleep in as long as I can in the mornings. I want to just chill in my free times. And I wanted to go to bed early. I had to try really hard to protect my Sabbaths because I wanted to do it all and there just wasn’t enough time.
There were expectations I had of the World Race: that it would be nonstop super coolness all the time. That everything would feel like a mountain-top experience with super exciting and exhilarating things happening all the time. But really, it just feels like normal everyday life.
So, I brought this concern to God. I asked Him why I get so on fire and excited about Him when I hear others talk about what they’re learning, and why I don’t feel the same when we have one-on-one time together. I asked why I feel frustrated all the time and what we can do to fix it.
Just a side note, I began praying out loud in my quiet times in Month 2 (Nicaragua) because it helps me put my thoughts into words and keeps me from getting distracted with my thoughts. It helps me to just have a conversation with God rather than finding the “right words” to say to Him. It also helps me to stop talking and leaves room for Him to speak.
Simply asking these questions and being vulnerable with God gave me peace. I got the word intentional early in the month, but I didn’t know what it meant at the time. So I kept praying about it.
Later I realized that God wants me to be more intentional with everything. With my team, with my ministry, and with Him. This was such a tangible solution to what I was going through. I remember the exact moment I felt freedom from anger and bitterness. And with that freedom came responsibility to act on what God revealed to me.
This is our last day at our ministry site in Chile. Tomorrow half our team will travel to the coast for month 4 Debrief while the other half heads to the airport to pick up some of the AIM leadership. They’ll meet us at the coast later tomorrow. We’ll be heading to Bolivia on May 3rd.
Ways to Pray
Pray for safe travels, as traveling with all our packs is always a little hectic.
Pray for much needed rest and relaxation at Debrief.
Pray for wisdom for our AIM leadership, as team changes might happen at this Debrief.
Pray for my squadmates Ashley and Michelle as God continues to heal their bodies.
Pray for continued intentionality in my current relationships and future relationships.
