There is not one word that comes to mind when I think about Training Camp; there are a wide variety of feelings, emotions, and just plain words that come to mind: exciting, difficult, freezing, emotional, fun, deep, vulnerable, family, freedom.
Something everyone should know is that it was not always any of these things. It was not always cold. It was not always hard. If was not always fun. But in the end, it really was freeing.
I now have a group of people that I can call a family. They know everything about who I was, who I am, and who I could be. In fact, they see who I can be and challenge me to be that person God has called me to be.
Every day seemed like three. With every “session”, there was time to go deeper into discussion with a small group. There were usually three sessions per day, so what seemed like a never-ending process was truly exhausting in every way possible. At the end of every day you would think to yourself “How can there possibly be more to talk about?!”
But alas, there came an end to this process. And with that came trust and understanding. In the areas the enemy told you that you were the only one who had experienced something, you found a slew of others in the same boat, with the same past, same feelings, and same longing to be free.
I won’t go into too much detail (a big part of Training Camp is the mystery!), but on top of the three daily sessions, the days typically consisted of team time, where we either hung out and got to know our team more OR did team-building activities OR the like; themed meals, where food was themed around a certain country/region; and personal time, where you could take a shower, have quiet time, clean your tent/pack up, wash clothes, get to know others on your squad, or basically whatever you wanted to do.
Personally, Training Camp has revealed parts of me I never wanted to address, or maybe parts that I didn’t know existed. One thing that was revealed is that I tend to suppress my feelings and emotions, meaning I may not necessarily show excitement, happiness, anger, or frustration in fear that I would offend someone or encourage behavior. I liked to play it safe and just stay in a neutral state-of-mind.
Another thing that was revealed was my quietness. My whole life people have told me how quiet I am, and furthermore assumed that I was shy. Neither of those things have I ever associated with myself, but I accepted them because everrrryyyyonnnneeee told me that’s who I was. Something I realized was that I didn’t see worth in the things I said. In other words, what I said was not important. I would only speak up when necessary, and stay silent the rest of the time. (Of course things are different with a close group of friends, but I’m talking about generally speaking.)
I have used my quietness as a shield to let others see me how they want to see me, rather than who I really am. I have used it to keep people at a distance, so that they will never know the real me. But that’s not who I am.
From Training Camp I have embraced the person God has called me to be: a voice. I am a voice to be used to spread His greatness, to share my story, and to walk alongside others. I have removed the quiet part of me, only to replace it with love and Jesus and community. By opening up, I have been invaded with so much love that I don’t know how to handle it all. By opening up, I have realized my true calling and my sole purpose: to glorify God and to make Him known.
I can honestly say that I am finally excited about this opportunity called the World Race, and I cannot wait to see the things I never imagined God having in store for me life.
